Around 10:25 in the evening, got nothing to do and the night is quite as usual. The only thing i could hear is the music that were being played in the youtube. Before it happen, i was thinking of downloading an anime avi from youtube.com to be uploaded on my phone. I was thinking thirty minutes ago of what should i want to choose. Going back from my past, since I love anime so much, I thought of typing my most favorite couple in the search engine KAORUX KENSHIN (character from samurai-x), it was so happen that it caught my attention one of the videos there with a music background “Love always finds a reason”. It struck me down, i didnt meant on going back from my past. But the feeling I have when I was in my fifteen years of age suddenly went back. Its like a time machine going back from those years that I wanted to stay, those emotions, those eagerness, those feelings that keeps me from believing on something that even though i know it wouldn’t come into realization. A feeling that I wouldn’t want to erase from my memory. I couldn’t exactly give you the detail of how I feel today, yet i am glad that i thought of those things and realize that once in my life i have been there and feel those fruitful years i had.(If there’s someone who is reading this, please bare with me, for i am just expressing my own selfishness…hehe..I’m just being emotional as of this moment. )
It makes me cry, that the feeling I had once will no longer go back from the way it is used to be. Time changes and no matter how i wish for it, it wont come back. The only thing left is the tears that become a subject of my dreams once. Those laughter i had, that makes me realize how the world was created in perfect figure. Those people who come and goes in my life where suddenly filling my memory lane back to the person who I was 8 years ago. It was so much fun and i never thought, that that day would end in just a blink of an eye. Its just like a dream, that when you wake up early in the morning, everything happens as if you haven’t been there. I know, i am being so stupid writing all of this stuff, but I FEEL THAT I AM CHASING MY OWN PAST EVEN THOUGH ITS POINTLESS.