I am not fund of celebrating Halloween dear Daily Prompt. However, since I see and observe some couple of people around in my workplace during celebrating this occassion, I guess I can join in with your daily dose for the day! Let see, If I know how to design a web, probably I would like to design my blog into something not so scarry thing, I guess a tinker bell and fairies will do sparkling some glitter dust whomever open my page and be interested reading all my blogs. I don’t like putting so many scary stuff due to the reason that I don’t want to scare myself with those things. I would also like to put a picture of me with a fairy custom just like the picture below.
As a price for visiting my blogs, I would be willing to grant whatever wishes they want me to ask, as long as it doesn’t go beyond moral and only in the blog domain. For example, if you want to make me read something of your work and wanted some criticism, I would like to do so. So, it’s an opportunity for those readers who would visit my site to ask me whatever questions, they would had in mind.
It’s 12 o’clock in the midnight. I’m encoding this stuff out of nothing and my mind is in a state of nothing. While listening to a very very sad song that it did take me into a much much deeper confusion I am already in. I am unstable and lot of things is beginning to turn around as if I am already changing. Statements, phrases, words suddenly filled my mind up causing my other half to suppress this thoughts, but the other couldn’t handle. Darkness already got me in, engulf by a hard shield that even words can’t get through. A shed of light haven’t been yet pass through this guard that my other half fabricated, for it is trembling and shaking out of fear. Maybe, I just need to unwind things. Kindly don’t misinterpret these thoughts for I am just in a state of shock.
In a night of full moon, everything seems so quiet and that everything was at its place. A girl then suddenly asked herself so many questions, which made her lonely tears to be frozen inside. She bares a scar that she herself couldn’t erase. The memory of the buried emotion had under gone with so much turmoil that confuses her. A dark cloud silences her with just a single stroke. She then looked upon a single star, and asked, “What is the purpose I still need to bring about? Is there any?” The girl was then reminiscing the past of her life, and then asked again, “Why my time didn’t come during my younger years? Fire took place, water suddenly engulfs me, earth crushed me, but still I’m here.” She was then thankful for the four chances to live during her younger years. However, it now came to the point where she asked, if it was then worth it! People live in a seemingly narrowed down road of life, a place where it is hard to find where you could fit yourself in. This girl wanted to ask so many questions, but she’s afraid and couldn’t hardly express, fearing not to be heard. Her emotions where now stuck, to the point where she could no longer has the control of it! Isn’t it a wrong time? She then felt sorry about things. She COMPLETELY KNEW, but looking her reflection infront of the mirror, she sees nothing but only a reflection of herself, LIFELESS. She then has decided to keep them in silence, and seal it along with the emotion of someone she cherished!
Ya Allah, et me convey my wishes as for this moment for I cant bear with it. I am making myself so worried over so many things and this time, I came across with something I didn’t even imagine this past few years, and let me wish for it just this seconds. Let me wish to stop myself from foreseeing my own negative possibility of my future. Let me give enough and more strength in believing in YOU. I may not have the right to predict over something especially for myself, yet let me give the strength I needed in order to write my destiny through your guidance and add more IMAN in my heart. I may not live longer more than anyone else, but let me live a life with purpose.
Silence being in a state of tranquility, a state where sounds where nothing. Nonetheless, when we thought about it, silence does have a sound deep inside. You just have to listen carefully. In silence, you can be happy more than anyone else, in silence you find peace, but what if that silence you lived in we’re already taken away and fear does enter into that state. Will you find silence as peace? Will you still be happy? Will you doubt yourself more often? Compared to a still lake during dusk, silence is more than enough to give you a scene of unmoving. A wave of calmness that steal the scene in a blink of an eye, thus far deep inside is an emotion of wavering thoughts of everything about life, about oneself, about what you see and what you believe are overlapping with one another. We keep on creating a make believe subject in our thoughts to fill something that we thought it should be. We even isolate oneself to redo things we never we couldn’t let go, yet how far we go for it, a make believe will always make believe. There is no such thing as that; it is like your filling an empty jar full of air.
In my daily living, waking my morning at 6 am makes me feel like there is something wrong, and usually I don’t like waking up at that time as much as possible. The explanation why I don’t feel so good is because I am sure that by that time I already missed my dawn prayer, which makes me feel guilty when this happen.
So most probably I always set my alarm cell phone at around 4:30 in the morning so that I can still have minutes to wake myself up before 5 in the morning. For me, when I wake up this early makes me feel like I can conquer the day and I feel that my day is complete. Though usually, I would think of sleeping the whole day round, but there is something in me which makes me feel uncomfortable when I do this kind of stuff. I feel like there is missing. So, whether I like it or not, I really need to wake my body up.
Daily Prompt really picks a topic which relates my morning waking hour for this day. I feel guilty this Sunday Morning because I’ve missed my prayer. For this reason, I’ve come up in punishing myself with pulling some weeds out i n my back yard, and clean some stuff outside the house which isn’t my cup of tea.
I don’t sleep at around 3 in the morning, unless I have something in hand that I needed to. What I hate when I sleep at this time is that my body usually shaken up when I put myself into sleep after 3 in the morning. As much as possible, sleeping at 3 in the morning is a big NO for me!
Halloween is getting nearer for those people who are celebrating this month of trick or treat. Some of them are looking forward for their parties, and be the character they want to be in. As for here in Iligan, Aero Jazz Fit facilitates a Zumba Zombie, yesterday afternoon (10/25/2013) at MSU-IIT Gym, Iligan City. The event was being spare headed by the MSU IIT Alumni Batch 1988 as a part of their reunion activities for the month. This Zumba party started at around 5:30 in the afternoon and long lasted within 2 hours. Aside from Alumni Batch ’88 who were there, some aero jazz students including me were also there to support to their activities. So, I got some of the nice captured moments here:
The program ended after two hours of non stop dancing.
I want to smash the very thing that I feel deep inside me, and that’s my Ego! I never knew myself before I got out from being a single woman, since I got married I’ve seen and noticed what I’ve never seen before. I don’t like the feeling that deep inside you, two of yourself were fighting over something. The other one is trying to stop your feelings, especially when your ego tells you this and how good it was. Sometimes, I could control it through relaxing my mind and think. Everyone has a two side of their self but usually we need to know ourself better as to prepare ourselves from going deep from being broken.
Secondly, I want to break my shy self. I wanted to boost my confidence on. Did you ever feel of being so shy in an occasion? And that you needed to take a deep breath in order to relax your shakey body? For me, I do feel that. I’ve grown up as an introvert person. I boost myself with confidence whenever I needed to, but usually it won’t take that long. As far as I’ve known myself, I have this limitation that takes me into part of myself that being worn out after holding in. I wanted to be continuous. I wanted to be happy, wanted to express myself through telling stories and be the woman I wanted to be, a free spirited one! But there are things that stop me from doing this, which it does frustrate me sometimes.
Thirdly, I could say I am somewhat a procrastinator. I have so many things in mind, and planned that think of. However, implementing this thought takes me to never of doing it due to this thing. I wanted to earn an extra income. I’ve look for so many websites but to no avail I haven’t. I’m sick of being so weak. Aside from this I wanted so many things that I wanted to try like teaching kids, build a orphanage, and be a help in so many people, but fear always comes in. I am already 26 and I never get rid of my negativity in me which made me so disappointed!
I am hoping that someday, all of this thing would be a part of my past that I’d be thankful for. However, for now I WONT. That’s why I am always seeking in anyways to get rid this, and be myself someday!
Once again, I returned to the place where I am supposed to be. Feeling so calm and all I see is the darkness of this four corner of my room. Time check is 1:05 am, could not sleep, feeling so thirsty. And, all I can hear is the resonance of the clock…saying tick, tack, tick, tack. It’s like; it’s running after me for some reason. I couldn’t explain but whatever it is, it only reminds me that time weren’t never motionless. Every minute is a breathe to live for and a moment to be fulfilled by us, and a time to spend on more meaningful deeds. But as we live day by day have we stop for awhile, pause, reflect and ask ourselves “have I fulfilled something worthwhile in my life?” Asking this question to our self usually carries more than a weight, especially that you knew it all along that things in life might seems to move unaccordingly. Until in such time, that you hit your head, and say “ooopssss, I made a mistake…I didn’t know”. There are things in life which we seemingly don’t understand, but as we step forward we learn, to see things in much more wider perspective. Preparedness is the key in confronting life. Within this “preparedness” are courage, hope and faith. Neverthless, if these three ingredients are not presence, things might go wrong.
There is that certain person who did came in my life, and indeed I am very thankful to her because of some aspects. I won’t be mentioning that person’s name here as to keep her name in private. She is a very religious person, thoughtful, kind, caring, and very firm in her conviction. I did meet her long before, and in some circumstances our path did cross in one moment in life. I did judge here as woman of upper classman. I also did classify her as a woman who seems to be arrogant and don’t care about other people and won’t talk that much. But when that opportunity came along, and became an acquaintance of her, everything of that idea suddenly vanished. The saying that goes “Don’t judge the book by its cover” was very true. I never thought she would be like a big sister to me in the long run, and I felt like I am very welcome to her. When we do have those times together, I am always asking about our religion especially on my misunderstanding over things, and when I do that she always explains it to me in a very concise manner and in more understandable way. Despite of what I had under through during my dark stage in my life, she never question nor intrude in my private life. Maybe, she did understand some of my sentiment, and where am I that point. However, I felt that if ever I do need someone to tell, i could count on her. I always asked, what does she have for her to attract me in her wonderful attitude? I did even prayed that if chances happen, i would like to adopt here way of living because as for me she has something within her that I admire the most.
In our religion, there is that saying which goes to those people whom God’s love has that kind of aura which radiates and influences those people who surrounds her and in my own perspective, she has that. May Allah (swt) forgive me, but in some way or another she has been favoured in a good way. I am very thankful to God, that in some way He did make our path cross. I love her as a sister, and admire her as a sample of a Muslim woman. May Allah (swt) protect her family.