I want to smash the very thing that I feel deep inside me, and that’s my Ego! I never knew myself before I got out from being a single woman, since I got married I’ve seen and noticed what I’ve never seen before. I don’t like the feeling that deep inside you, two of yourself were fighting over something. The other one is trying to stop your feelings, especially when your ego tells you this and how good it was. Sometimes, I could control it through relaxing my mind and think. Everyone has a two side of their self but usually we need to know ourself better as to prepare ourselves from going deep from being broken.
Secondly, I want to break my shy self. I wanted to boost my confidence on. Did you ever feel of being so shy in an occasion? And that you needed to take a deep breath in order to relax your shakey body? For me, I do feel that. I’ve grown up as an introvert person. I boost myself with confidence whenever I needed to, but usually it won’t take that long. As far as I’ve known myself, I have this limitation that takes me into part of myself that being worn out after holding in. I wanted to be continuous. I wanted to be happy, wanted to express myself through telling stories and be the woman I wanted to be, a free spirited one! But there are things that stop me from doing this, which it does frustrate me sometimes.
Thirdly, I could say I am somewhat a procrastinator. I have so many things in mind, and planned that think of. However, implementing this thought takes me to never of doing it due to this thing. I wanted to earn an extra income. I’ve look for so many websites but to no avail I haven’t. I’m sick of being so weak. Aside from this I wanted so many things that I wanted to try like teaching kids, build a orphanage, and be a help in so many people, but fear always comes in. I am already 26 and I never get rid of my negativity in me which made me so disappointed!
I am hoping that someday, all of this thing would be a part of my past that I’d be thankful for. However, for now I WONT. That’s why I am always seeking in anyways to get rid this, and be myself someday!