I played your songs in this quite night. It seems I am typing these words through my keyboard where I imagine of playing the moonlight in a piano along with an orchestra as it arises my imagination in a splash! Let me give an insight of what image I do see in thy rhythm, as to let this feeling of you go through with the wind and cast it away in thy darkness.
The writer herself feels she was a heroine in a very tragic story, where her other half (husband) betrayed her for a woman from a far distance. In comparison to other people in thy history, some royalties were imprisoned by their own destiny. Most of them marrying the person who claimed by their clan to be with her/him as to increase their wealth, and produce so many linkages with so many famous people. Prestige, wealth and pride were at seems to be the most precious that a person could ever have. It seems a futile to go against the tide of betraying the clan, since what is at stake is thy name of thy family, THE HONOR. Two hearts intertwined by faith without even giving a chance for their hearts to settle. Do you think will they ever last? Will you ever love someone as per instructed by the people nearest you? Most of the reader would answer to choose faith as predicted by their own will.
What’s the hardest is that heart cannot be instructed to whom you will give thy love! A man who love somebody more than his life is something unbreakable. Even if you chained him to other woman’s chest. It will just cause pains and revenge. True love cannot be departed from each other. Though, a woman who became the third wheel is the most painful that a human can feel. Tormented by unrequited love. Forever dreaming of unrealistic event of the man he thought she would love. Tears beside her bed, and a thorny roads along her way. Day by day imagining the love she would have. Seeing the image of the man he has, but never has she owned, together with his woman that he loves but never owns. A woman whose heart is in pain, is like a curse that neither medicines, time nor miracles can heal! A man can tell lies after lies making his own credibility worsen, nevertheless, this is just a small amount of a price to pay compared to the heart being lied to. Forever being delusional of something she will never have, a pain that will kill her every day of her life. Hoped that she had married the first and the last man in her life, but it turns out to be a dead dream! Forever in the eyes of emptiness!
How it is good to tell someone anything about something you wanted to say, and that even a little thing would be something you could share without feeling something so opposite or kind of awkward afterwards. I would like to write this on this wall at least I can get this thing off inside me. Alright, someone came inside my room to borrow something. I don’t want to be on details as for the names are concerned. Okay, they then wanted to borrow a formal dress. I take out everything inside my formal dress out of the closet. They pick what they need to choose, and when they’ve done that, they slowly went out. However, before doing so, the last one who get out of my room suddenly speak of something which is a verse, and that I know. I feel kind of offended. Why? Because I feel like a monster or something that she needed to speak that off inside my room. I don’t know. Wished I could say this to someone. I guess, I just need to be off inside my mind to move on! Will I just shared this thing off as too move on. If you wanna ask something about this, just ask the writer. Okay Guys!? See you for another blogging.
What is Depression? As stated from the meaning from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, this monstrous word means a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. I have read so many articles in relation to this sickness, and many of them says different kinds. I don’t know what is real or not, nevertheless I had seen and observed, it is in did an illness that causes havoc to one self. I did wrote this issue as I’ve seen Robin WILLIAM’S article about his death a few days ago. It is so sad to know such guy who boost with energy in giving hundreds of people from across the oceans a laugh that meant to forget their own problems, only to find out that he has been fighting his own selves for how many years. Another man, was that guy who was an actor from the GLEE Club series, who seems to kill his self. Together with this was also Whitney Houston, who caused her life due to drugs. It seems a lot of Americans where really into drugs and alcohol when they feel depressed. And 100% not only them, who suffer from this ill-mannered coping mechanism of depression, because there are many people around the globe who are involved in this kind of action.
Do I have the right to blame them or not? I guess, I don’t have the right to blame them in causing this menace in their own life since each and every one of us have different kinds of problems in life. Our generation in today’s age, we could manage to do whatever we wanted through technology, unlike the people of the past generation. Then along with this advancement, where the problem started, we became more dependent and many situations arises along with the mentality of each and every one. Many of us were gifted with a talent of coping up this improvement, but some humans don’t. It is a sad thing to say that many of the people who don’t know how to handle theirs selves ended up by bringing their own death. Unlike, harikiri in Japanese who kills their self because of disgrace, but this one wasn’t about honor. They’ve said that an act of suicide was a selfish act for the person who is committing this matter, but they didn’t know some of this people were fighting this as far as they did remembered in defeating their own problems. I could say it is hard when your enemy is your own self.
I could not tell if what I’ve felt before and maybe now is somewhat in this kind of form, but I did felt this. I tell you, it is something you’ll never wanted to wish for. Why? Because a total negativity causing yourself a pain like your into the depth of hell. One feeling of this was like a constant feeling of being worthless. You feel like you don’t wanted to wake up every morning and telling yourself “How I wish I never waked up”. Another feeling of this monster was, every hour of your life, you feel uneasy and your health were being eaten until your mind is giving you an order to kill yourself. The worst thing here was, when you are at that point where you wanted to escape something but then again there is no way out, this moment will drag your brain out from thinking, “death is the only way”. When you feel this moment, you will feel shaky and find a solution to escape from something you wanted to escape for. Feeling all this kind of emotions is a one way or another causing devastating event in one’s self. In the religious side of story, they were saying that if you have a weakness in thy heart, and weak in believing in the power of God, they’ve said you were being punished. In some point I question this one, I did one time asked, how come? Did I do something wrong to undergo in such thing? Upon feeling all the negativity in some point in my life, I’ve reflected with those stuff that I have done before. I found out so many weakness in myself upon searching for an answer why I started feeling this kind of emotion. As I searched for an answer, it feels like I’ve been scanning pages to pages and learning this and that. One thing I did learned was, there were those attitudes and some other things within thyself that you could not accept that it is within you. You don’t like to admit that limitations are embodied in you, and that everything is uncontrollable. I’ve cried for so many days, and some answers about my other side of problems were being revealed to me. I don’t regret from knowing, and I’ve come across knowing myself better. I could say my religion saved me in one way or another. In Islam, killing one self is a TABOO. IF you kill yourself, you will not be judged in the life after, but instead you will directly be sent to HELL with no further ado. In my religion, alcohol and drugs are prohibited to intake since it causes oneself a great deal of destroying oneself little by little. There was a saying as well that it is your responsibility to take care of your own body, and you will be asked in the next life how did you used your life, and from thinking this question I wouldn’t like to answer some negative things.
Those people who came across with the so called alcohol and drugs were by mean being harder to themselves. Yes, you will find yourself forgotten those wary feeling inside after taking them, nevertheless this emotion were just a temporary feeling that an expiration will be set in an hour. Due to its limitation, they intake and intake until they were addictive and cannot see the point of no return of going back. Maybe, indeed some survive from this addiction, but most of them cannot. Psychologists, therapist and another drugs can heal them in a minute, but then again it’s just temporary. The one who will decide is the victim itself on how he/she will instruct his/her own will. People can give them advice, but never can they make that victims let them do what they wanted. We are innate with the termed WILL. A decision that was being entrusted to us by the High Living with the power of knowledge and how we used them already depend upon us, as a human. I believe that everything have its own reason. Maybe, it is a sign to understand ourselves better with this problems, but over abusing and reacting in such a manner that will cost you more will just do no good.
There were articles I had written the last few months ago about the story how I ended myself in pursuing education as one of my interest. Now, I’ve experienced so many things along with it, and some of these were already in scripted in some pages of this website. So, here I am, going to tell my experience on how I go through a long series of process in order to reach the point where I need to attend the LET examination and ended up taking them.
I’ve started my review last 2014 of April, along with my friends at St. Louis Review Center. I thought of reviewing at that said center for me to recall everything that I did learned when I was in my elementary and secondary age. Being in the confinement of the office for almost 5 years, it take my basic knowledge away from this memory of mine. Replenishing those information is needed, especially now that aging process is lurking along the way. The memory itself is starting to deteriorate if it is not well trained, and reviewing is the best option to suppress the unexpected events when someone is planning to take the LET Examination. This is why I took the risk in segregating my time for this task. It take my Saturday and Sunday time to go there and review. I was pleased by the schedule because we were mixed together with those freshly graduate of some universities/colleges within Iligan City. In those time, I was hoping not to be mixed up together with the meranao students, because as far as everyone’s know, nobody know about my plan. I guess, I am one of those typical person who undergone with a secondary courses and now kind of hesitating to tell everyone else, unless they did pass the examination mentioned. For almost 4 months, I’ve been busy with my work and my schedule for review. The time was ticking so swiftly that I almost forgot my other worries. God has been so kind to us since the examination were being moved from July 27, 2014 to August 17, 2014. There might be a reason for this event to happen besides the reason from the Catholic side why the exam ended up in a cancellation. This gave us plenty of time to prepare more in the exam. Along those days, I did realized that I didn’t made a mistake in reviewing at the said center, because it did gave me time to read, relearn and experience about this situation.
Before the exam, we did had a hard time getting our grades to be completed because one of our teacher didn’t gave our grade on time. For this reason we’ve waited days before she did gave us, and the filing of the examination were more or less 6 days before its deadline. Upon receiving the information of the completed grades, I didn’t hesitate to be absent on the first day of working days to settle things ahead. I did go to Saint Michael College in order for me to complete everything to get my Transcript of Records. I went to the Dean requesting my TOR, and gave me some instruction to complete. In addition with the prescribed requirements, one of this was paying our balance at the review center as to get certificate coming from SLRC. Upon knowing, it revealed to us that SMC and SLRC were somehow connected with each other. Having no choice, we ended up paying 4,000. That afternoon of Monday, we submitted the certificate from SLRC, together with the signed permit at the registrar. Giving them those papers, we were informed that they will be giving us a message after our TOR has been made. After three or four hours, we were pleased upon telling us that it was already had been finished.
Three days after its completion my friends and I have decided to go at the PRC office to file our papers for the Licensure Examination. We did bring the following requirements:
Original and photocopies of Transcript of Records with Special Order and Date of Graduation, with scanned pictures and with remarks “FOR BOARD EXAMINATION PURPOSE ONLY”. Graduates of government schools and institutions/programs accredited by recognized accredited agencies under the FAAP are exempted from SO. Graduates of New Schools/Degree Programs must submit School Recognition and/or Permit to operate.
Original and photocopy of NSO-issued Birth Certificate (if NSO copy is not clear, bring copy from the Local Civil Registrar)
For married females, original and photocopies of NSO-issued Marriage Contract (if NSO copy is not clear, bring copy from Local Civil Registrar)
Two (2) passport size colored with white background and complete name tag.
Current Community Tax Certificate (Cedula)
Other specific requirements are required by the Commission or the Professional Regulatory Board.
We did get there early at around 6 in the morning and hoping to be the first in line. However, arriving there after 2 hours of travelling, there were so many people in lined. I ended up getting 2k plus as a number. We’ve waited outside for one hour to be called. At that day many people were at PRC, some of them were renewing their license and many of the people were filing for the LET EXAM, just like us. We did get through with another line, as we get nearer to the front desk who would check our papers, we assured that our requirements were not lacking. As I was being entertained that moment, I was praying that everything about my documents were all complete. It didn’t take us much time for that clearing and all three of us were finished after paying a full amount of 900. The cashier told us that the NOA and the receipts will be given to us a week before the examination. We left a relief, and relaxed from the travel and the stress from filing our documents with a nice window shopping at Limketkai Shopping Center.
More than 30 days before the examination, all of us were tensed for the exam. We continued our review during Saturday and Sunday. Whereas the days were fast ticking, I thought of having a self-review after office. Someone did advised me to review because it’s not a 100 percent that everything in the review will come up. Days after days after days, I continued the self-review. I know that I didn’t totally focus, but I do know that I did review as much as my interest arises. I believe that forcing yourself too much will do no good. There were so many things playing along inside my mind along the way. I did tried to counter those negative thoughts that encircling my mind, by thinking of doing the best as I can to motivate myself. I did set up from these brain of mine that I need to pass the exam as to not waste my time from studying for 6 months plus 3 or 4 months of review. I already used up my time and energy doing this things along the way. As the days passed, there encountered changes happen, and one of this were my office schedule. I was assigned at Marawi Service Desk by my own agency, and then later on had an office scheduled of Sunday to Thursday, which caused me to decide to move my review from Saturday-Sunday to Friday-Saturday, as I’ve asked permission to Sir Ken about my plan, he told me that it’s too late for me to do this since the exam was getting nearer. For this reason, I don’t have the choice but to review only on Saturday, and excuse myself during Sunday.
Seventeen days before the examination, I’ve decided to go to Cagayan de Oro to get my NOA together with my friends NOA. Since I was there, I already reserved for a hotel for us to stay in. I went to Will Shire HOTEL to settle for a reservation, but unfortunately they were already full on those dates I did mentioned. I was left with no choice and make a reservation at AMAREA HOTEL which is fortunately did accommodate us for the reservation on those two dates I did prefer. I paid 795 for a one day reservations, and the next day as per mentioned will be paid on the exact date after Friday.
The hours were ticking and the days were changing. As I crossed those days from my calendar before August 17, I did feel tensed each day. When the day arrived, it was August 15, 2014, me and my friend went ahead in order to catch Friday prayer at CDO. We’ve stayed there for two days, while two of my friends had a rigorous flash back of all the review we did back then. As for me, I choose to relax. We all did aside from reviewing were window shopping, buy foods, and more important one is sleeping. We did all this just to relax from our wary minds. Before the exam, I and my friend went to our designated room as to know where our room is before the examination. The PRC already written the things to be needed before the exam.
We didn’t noticed that the day was up. We wake up ourselves at around 3:30 in the morning; review a little bit, eat our breakfast, take a bathe and prepare our things. I was the one who got out since I was assigned at BULUA NATIONAL HIGHSCHOOL which was far from the center. I was so thankful that when I got out at the hotel, a taxi was already have been there, and asked him to get me at the school I’ve been assigned to. Upon arriving, there were so many people in waiting to open the gate. I’ve seen one of my acquaintance, who was familiar to me, but never knew her name. She questioned me while we were both waiting, but it was so fortunate that a friend of mine was there, calling for me. I was relief when she does that because that girl I meet were starting to ask about my workplace, which I don’t want to be much open about it when I am in different situation. We talked with Ms Faida together with her friend about so many things in regard with the LET exams. While waiting there for almost 45 minutes, the door opened and each of us went to our designated room were assigned to. I was amazed the first day I saw my room assignment since all the numbers in seeing were all in 17. Date was August 17, my room was 17, seat number 17 and my name was written on page 17. What a coincidence, I say!
The schedule is all written in this way:
The examination went well after hours of taking them. I could say, I did well on the General and Professional Education but the Specialization were kind of a nose bleed. From the 2,500 test questions we did take at the review center for this specialization area, I ended up only three question similar from our review and everything I did used was stock knowledge. As I review my test paper for second time around that day, I was confident that I did my best, and the only thing left for me is to hope for a positive result for the examination. For those people who is reading this blog of mine. Wish me and everyone who take the test a Good luck!