The following days after December 31, 2014.

121714-2015

Another year is going at its end, and newly tide is now on its way to make everything different. Another year for celebrations, and year of adventure in our life. Do you think something will change in one’s life in this year? I guess so, because each of us has a destiny to fulfill, and what that is, is a surprise that we need to look forward to.

I’ve been browsing at wordpress.com, encoding the 2015 on the tag part to search for some resolution coming from other people. Many of them showed up different resolution in their life were you can find them as somewhat pleasing. People do has a way of doing things, hoping it will be the best. And yet, it is somewhat wonderful since it gives hope to one’s heart that somewhere in their life in this year, they change something for good. We are not perfect, we do make mistakes. It is an inevitable circumstances that human do have this kind of nature. You and I is not excuse for this true concept, but despite of this, I would say human is an awesome creation. Trying to make up for something that has gone wrong in their past life.

From previous years, we happened to learn so many things from our happy memories, and mostly from our sad memories. Usually, the sad one was something that triggers our loneliness. The deepest part of us, that saying “Someone help me, I don’t know what to do!” However, we want to disguise our weakness through showing others that “I am strong” which in reality, we gain cracks inside our heart once we felt the pain of being sad for something that had happened. Moving on is something that is hard. As they say “you must let go.” But let’s admit, this thing is a painful part in our life, yet we need it for us to free ourselves. Most of the human, and thousands of thousands of human even in the past felt this feeling in a most unexpected way. Circumstances always make us feel this pain before a person come along in his/her twilight zone in his/her life, and I am not exempted to that. I was born in an average family. At first we don’t have anything, but we do have each other for almost years, I never gained any problems except from my school thing. However, after 23 years of living, I did encounter one thing, my ex-husband. We broke up days ago, which I stated in my past blog. I don’t want to go into details, but as I felt I am not yet transcending myself in letting go. He is the first person who made me feel the true pain is. Truly, loving a person is something that will cause pain and that you will find yourself in the weakest form once it’s broken, and I did. I felt miserable being together with him. One thing is, it flash right into my face, the real weakness inside me and the reflection of who I truly am. Instead of encouraging me, he didn’t helped any of it, but instead he keep on piling up so many things that I couldn’t handle. It is like, our relationship is a curse that we need to be part ways. I feel terribly sad about it, and I am always asking if when will be the day I need to let go of this pain? I am hoping that next year, will be the time I will learn to let go.

Aside from this, I list all of the things I planned to do this year 2015 and here it is:

               (I need to upload my mind mapping sooner)

                My plan somewhat scramble, but mind mapping is indeed a good things in planning. It is missed up, but I still need to arrange it within this two days before the year ends. I want to implement this plan by January, hopefully. So In order give a view in my plan, let’s summarize it shall we? Let’s take them one by one.

  1. Spiritual – This is the most important priorities that I needed to accomplish. I’ve planning on to grow this part of me, yet I couldn’t for the fact that myself wouldn’t. I might say that it is my nafs or desire that make this thing out of my priorities. However, this year I will try the best as I can to be within my goal. May Allah guide me, and give tawfiq inside my mind to fulfill this.
  2. Different path – I wouldn’t state this thing directly in here for I am certain that someone might see this blog which I want this to be safe yet. But I am planning to try a certain path that might lead me somewhere, and learn the things I needed.
  3. Travel – I really wanted to go to JAPAN. I am hoping that this year will be that significant year where I will be having an adventure in this said place.
  4. Going to School and learn – I will do this practical thing which I would like to go to if my second list will be operational, if not, I guess I have to look for another thing to fulfill this.
  5. Save Money- OMG! My weakness! For almost six years I’ve been using my salary extravagantly without saving anything. Look at me right now, I’m yet at the starting point to save something.
  6. Read Books- I am not much of a reader, but I do believe that once you find a book that you will enjoy, it is like sweet cake, that you will grave for it always.
  7. Self-Development – I am my young adult stage, and I felt I’m still young child inside. Selfish and self-centered. I don’t want to go on like this. I want to mature and enhance myself with things that I needed the most.
  8. Exercise – I do this thing, but not that totally rigorous. I, particularly stop, go, stop and go with my exercise thing.

I am hoping that my list will be followed next year. Of course, it will depend on me. I do have a tendency to procrastinate, but as much as I can, time is an essence in living our lives. I guess, I’ve wasted too much time which I could not count them, if they did productive or not. Evaluating from my previews year, I guess none. However, I want to believe that I could do so many things in this year of the rum. I was watching “Once Upon a Time Series” and I could tell that what I’ve learned is to believe and have faith in all the things that I needed. I guess, I have to contemplate and meditate and ask myself from everything that had gone wrong, and things I couldn’t do. In this way I might find a better changes by next year. Live and Believe.

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TURNING POINT

I’ve never been used in counting days or whatever that comes my way. I guess, this 2014 was not the same with any kind of years that had passed. I can say it isn’t the fast pacing life that you could ever imagined, but changes did happened. I remember this following months;

January 2014 –     I was then very busy working out with my second course (i.e education)

February 2014 –    Attended a seminar in relation to Customer Service at Cagayan de Oro

March 2014 –        Continuing attending my school course

April 2014 –      Doing all the best I can to finish my requirements for the whole 6 subjects and even with the Field Studies instructed by our teachers in education.

May 2014 – Nothing happened much, I was kind of busy verifying our grades in St. Michael

June 2014 – I finally got my TOR in this course, and the next thing I did then was to file my papers for LET EXAM

July 2014 – I finally got out from COA and enter into the world of PagIBIG, and was assigned at Marawi Service Desk

August 2014 – It was then the 17th day of that month were I need to attend the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I was then so nervous that day, and everything keep dashing inside mind.

September 2014 – Nothing much happened here. I could say it’s my tranquil months.

October 2014 – on this month I received the result of the LET, and I’m thankful to God that I did pass! All my worries suddenly vanished and all was left was a thankful heart to God and to everyone for helping me out.

November 2014 – I was then so happy doing all my PRC related matters, and was then given the ticket for the big day “oath taking”

                For December 2014, I guess I want this month to be detailed, in the since that it was the current situation I was involved with until now. So, I was counting days from 1 to 12 day of December. Of course, I am not counting for the fact that it was then a Christmas, but it’s not. Christmas is not a practice in our religion, and I guess most of your guys, knows that Islam really don’t involve with this kind of celebration. Anyway, going back to my stories, while I was waiting, my parents decided to accompany me in the oath taking that was held last December 14, 2014 at Cagayan de Oro City. Before that day on December 13, 2014, we all went there, four of us to be exact (my parent, brother and of course yours truly). We did stayed at Tune Hotel. It was a very remarkable place. (In order for you to see what’s in this hotel, you can have a peek at the picture below.} I could say, I would waste some of my money staying in this hotel. Not only that you are comfortable with this hotel, and the staff were very accommodating but the building itself is very safe to anyone. If you are staying in Cagayan de Oro City, and would like to have a very comfortable stay in, I suggest to try their accommodation.

Tune Hotel

                On the day of oath taking, I was then very glad saying to myself; at last, all my efforts didn’t go to waste and here I am taking an oath for the first time in my life.” I was with the other hundreds of LET PASSER enjoying the feeling of gratitude and hoping for a new start to begin with. One thing, I was then thankful as well was that, a friend of mine was there. Seeing her in there was kind of assuring that what was happening then was real and it’s not a dream.

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                After the ceremony, we had a lunch date together with my family. As I stare at them, I would say it was a great thing to have a family bonding once in a while. Hope to have another session of this family bonding.

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                The next thing happen is having fun with my co office mate last December 19, 2014. It was a merry day, going off to work and having the whole night to enjoy together with our office family. We celebrated this at Villa Verde near at Gaisano Mall. As I mention early, that we don’t celebrate Christmas, but for the sake of camaraderie, we did joined them for this one night of fun.

 Aloha pix

                Usually, fun always countered with sadness of thy heart. After a few days, I was disheartened by the news that strikes me. I saw it coming, but I never expect it would that be easy. I am healing my heart now. I don’t know when will be the day my heart would find peace, but I’m hoping it would be so soon. However, for the meantime, as the year ends, I am looking forward for the things that will happen by next year. Hope it will be much colorful than it is. HAPPY NEW YEAR to Everyone!

Paying Back

How could I not forget the day a friend of mine told me the great news of passing the Licensure Examination for Teachers last August 17, 2014? If I am not mistaken I did write something about my fear of failing to the said examination, however, I am highly overjoyed when my hard work did paid off. All of this is a big big big thank you from the creator above. Ya Allah, I am really indeed grateful for another gift you’ve send to me. And now, I am happily to say that we will be having our Oath Taking Tomorrow at Liceo de University, Cagayan de Oro around 6:30 in the morning.

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                I am happy about this. I guess, God has its own way of saying that he is still there looking out for us. I don’t know how I will thank Him for everything. Yet what I already’ve been doing is nothing but selfishness. I am writing this stuff while my feeling is a little bit down for the fact that I haven’t done anything. Even towards my parent whose there all the way from the very beginning of my life. I could not ask for more, as long as my family is there, everything is worth the risk. To think of, ever since the day I started working, I didn’t help much my own parents, and didn’t even helped them from any financial burdens. I guess, I was caught up with my own selfishness of doing whatever I wanted to do which I guess, doesn’t do me much except paying my own school billings while I am at this second course. Looking back, I am somewhat guilty of not paying back anything to them, and somewhat doing another selfish thing by next year, which is the fulfillment of my own dream of going to the Land of the Rising Sun. Along in this current situation, I am thinking of switching job if God permits me to do so. I could not support my parents and my brother from the income I have now. I fear that someday, I might need an emergency money to use for something crucial. I am the eldest and my brother is only 10 years younger than me, and mostly I don’t know if somebody or someone will help me by the time I will need it. Beforehand, I need to look for some ways to fully realize this. I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try. My qualification in teaching is not enough since my major from my undergrad isn’t related to education. So working on this thing will be going to square one. I don’t have teaching experience, and still have that weaknesses, but I need to try. Wish me good luck guys! I will post something soon in here.

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