Category Archives: Notes for the Mind

How to heal a broken Heart?

Even A hundred folds of grief is divisible by love. A statement that I did really like from reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: From Lemonade to Lemon. I am not the only one who suffered from this disease known LOVE by human for how many millennial. There are so many reasons for a couple to separate ways. Girlfriend-Boyfriend relationship could end up for so many reasons. How much more for a couple, whose been married for how many years. When does a relationship ends? When both were already through from each other? When sparks already worn out? Or did each of the individual find another love to spend their time with and find if it’s worth staying?  For those who suffered and reading this, how did you heal  your broken heart?

The traces are still there. Forgiveness is not yet given, and I don’t know when will be that day. Some people said, the sign of moving on is when you forgive the one who did the hurtful things to you. Is this true? But then again, I couldn’t totally answer that.

So below this are things I did just to pull myself up.

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1. Write your thoughts out!

From my previews post, I did write an articles. For I couldn’t keep my emotion as much as I can. When we were in that situation, thoughts suddenly overflowing. All the queries. All the doubts that cannot be answered suddenly takes a toll on me. I am an introvert person. I just can’t tell you what my thoughts out loud, unlike extrovert people. I keep them, but in  some way or another, there is always a so called limits to everything. I recently realized that during those days. The limits of comprising everything inside. So I thought I need an outlet. Something that could minimize the bearing, keep myself in total check, and blocking my mind off from thinking. I did the writings, posted some of them to this page. Most of my write ups was posted in a certain website that stopped working years ago. Ended up deleting every post I had back then, but that’s okay now, it’s all in the past. Aside from posting them from  websites, I am also writing them up in a journal.

It feels good when you write them up. Looking from them years after, you will surely tell yourself, “How stupid I was back then!” and you will feel like it was the most embarrassing and funniest moment ever happen to your life.

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2. Go out and do some Aerobics!

The music was loud, my co-aerobics ladies was busy dancing, and I was like doing the moves but I had a teary eyes. I held back, controlled it, and do the moves. I did go through readings from websites, magazines and other reading materials just to get rid the thoughts of our relationship from my mind and one of their advice was do the moves. By doing an exercise that releases an endorphin (or the happy hormones)  from your body will increase and help you to get on the positive track. It is indeed effective.

My goal back then was not to get my body fats out from my system, but to get my mind off the track from thinking of him.

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3. Find a Trustworthy person who experience the same situation.

There were those moments when  writing isn’t enough. You want an advice from someone who can understand your distress, and know how to deal on some of your deep worries.  I am thankful to my friend, who was there when I needed an advice. Someone I can go to when everything seems so unclear. Thanks to her, I conquered that feeling.

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4. Look for something that will get yourself busy.

Working on something that will let your thoughts drift off from the burdened you carry within yourself is a must. You can gear yourself to do something that might interest you. Don’t let yourself do nothing, and think everything all over and over again in your home at your own emotional expense. Go out! You can do a cooking class, stitch a little bit, go for a seminar, training, or do anything that will make you happy. Taking one step at a time is worth a try than moping around.  Aerobics isn’t enough for me back then, I invest my earnings in learning new things. I enrolled in Education at St. Michael for 1 year class with 24 units subject at hand. I missed going to school. Doing this, really gave me plenty of things to worry that will keep my mind off of him. I got lot of home works, papers to be finished, reports to do and immersion to go to. It was then a busy year. I was working Weekdays, going to school during Weekends, a daily dose of 1 hour aerobics and doing all my papers during night time. Speaking of this, I kind of missed doing it.

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5. Don’t let yourself play slow songs or something romantic.

As much as I can, I don’t like listening to mellow music. I need something pop, rock or something that I can apply my aerobic thing. For listening mellow music will get me to square one, and it can took a little bit of time to pull myself again.  So don’t let yourself do this, unless you’ve moved on.

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6. Travel

After I gave my ultimate decision to my father about us, I decided to go somewhere to heal my undeniable broken heart. I went to the place where I really love, Japan. I did do a little bit of savings for almost a months. As far as my budget can stretch, I did try not to spend too much. Trying to stop myself from the whim of my own wants, and thankfully, it was a success. I got my dream. I went there and it was the most happiest thing ever that did happen to my existence here on earth. It means a lot to me.

Each and every one of us has different coping up mechanism. It so happen that, what is written here is something I did try to pull myself from this distress.  You can try anything that is appropriate to you, no one needs to control you for what you want.

For those viewers whose reading this and has a same situation, you know that you are not alone. If you want to cry, cry like a river, but don’t make it forever. The last thing that I did learn from all of this is that; No one can save you at the end of day, but you, yourself alone. Live fully, and live well.

Deviance Behavior: On being a Gay

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This guy in the picture is not my cousin, that’s for sure. It is just an image representing this article:)

Homosexuality has been well-thought-out as deviant behavior throughout human history. People cannot remove this kind of behavior towards one person who is involved into this kind of act. Christian, Muslim and other religion condemn this homosexuality, but then again we cannot judge one person just for having this kind of behavior.

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I did interviewed a close relative of being a gay and he told me everything I want to know. First of all, his alias name is “Gorgeous” (won’t like to state his name for privacy purposes) a first cousin of mine. I asked him if this deviancy was innate, and he told me that, it’s true. When he a was a child, most of his companions were all girls. In his growing up years he looks up to them. He observed the entire action the way girls do at a tender age, and later on he was influenced. During those time, he assumed that being with them, and acting like them is a norm. He ended up  desiring to be like them.

Secondly, I asked him if ever he run into a problem of being a gay. He answered, “ My parents doesn’t want me to be like this, but what can I do? This is me. Hence, I feel that my kinsfolks hated me since I am a gay. Someday I’ll be someone that they’re going to be proud of and prove them that I am capable of doing things.” In Muslim communities, homosexuality is not accepted for they see this act as an immoral. Nevertheless, for the people who are engaged to this kind of doing  feels that they are just being real to themselves.

 Thirdly, I asked him if being a gay has given him anything or any benefits. He then replied, “It gives me the chance to be known in campus. I gained a lot of friends and made many memories to keep. Self-confidence is the key factor from all of this. I gained this for being myself, causing everything to fall to its rightful place.” I envy my cousin on this part. He has this guts and attitude that lures people toward his unique characteristic.

The Interviewer and the interviewee, which is me, is related by blood. Him, being a gay, as I see it doesn’t cause any problem. If he wants to be a gay then that’s his choice. We cannot force something to a person, he/she doesn’t want to. The only thing I can possibly do for him is to support and understand every endeavor his trying to accomplish.

This article was created a years ago. Gorgeous is not your typically gay who will wear a lot of makeup, have a thick red lips, and act excessively. Yet, he does wear in a very fashionable manner. Comparing from then to now, Gorgeous change 180 degrees. What do I mean? He ended up choosing being a man. He does once told us that “Let me do things, as what I am doing now. Time will come I’ll get bored acting this way” and he did. Though he did changed, yet his gesture still exist, act softly or” mahinhin” in tagalog.

The Taste of Life

“This story is something I created when I was a first  year college, year 2005. My teacher from English 3 instructed us to make a story based from the picture he revealed to us. At that moment,  the picture he did revealed was a photo of a cave and war like scenario, then this is how I created the story.”

It was May 14, 2014 when my friend Joan invited us to be reunited again after a long time, her friend since high school, to go in Palawan. It was her treat for us to relax from a heavy office duty, to have a sightseeing not to mentioned, vacation with the gang! It was the right time then since it was summer. All of us were free from work. The sea was a crystal clear as well as the sky that was very much bluer than blue when we arrived, and Joan was standing near the shore waiting for us.

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After a few days of appreciating the beauty of the said place, we have decided to go to the cave. The last spot that we haven’t gone to.  There were three boats that were going inside and one of that boats were us. Before entering the cave, Aliyah was quite afraid going inside because it was dark. I, myself was also afraid from the kept hidden mystery from the cave. Still, the man said that there’s nothing to be afraid of since the cave is not perilous. As we go in, we’ve seen lot of things inside and one of this was a limestone which was created by a slight acidic substance that slowly dissolves the rock along cracks and it looks like a crystal as the light of our flashlight hits the wall of the cave and we are amazed how wonderful it was. As we row the boat, many bats were flying towards us, until we arrived at the zone of the cave which is called the twilight zone. Joan explained to us what twilight zone is. She said that this zone is sheltered from direct sunlight and normally has a moderate environment than above ground and host to a diverse population of animals. After an hour, we succeed coming out from the cave with a feeling of contentment and memories of our experiences inside the cave.

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After enjoying the trip, we finally decided to go back to the resort hotel. It was getting dark when my friend wawa was reading a newspaper when suddenly she started to uproar. As I look at the newspaper, it was a picture of three cars that were burning into flame beside a building and it came from the country of Iraq. Bainarie told us that they were at the chaos that is happening in Iraq at this very moment, and it was true as seen on CNN News today. I’ve seen many people, military unit and other events that are involve in that pandemonium. From that moment, I feel bad and pity to those people who are involved in that turmoil. As I look up the sky, the stars are shining so brightly and the sea was calm. I suddenly think that, while we were having fun on this island, other people were suffering from commotion that caused by misunderstanding. Now, I realize that sometimes, life is becoming unfair.

“It was a story I created 11 years ago, and to tell you, this didn’t happen since our friend Joan died from an incurable illness last 2013. It was an unexpected sickness that caused her body to grow frailer each day. The treatment from her illness haven’t been resolved by science, only to reduce the pain. Due to her stress caused by her environment, her sickness grow quicker than expected. Not later than a year, I guess, after knowing her illness, she died. The sickness that caused her life to demise is called LUPUS.”

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The following days after December 31, 2014.

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Another year is going at its end, and newly tide is now on its way to make everything different. Another year for celebrations, and year of adventure in our life. Do you think something will change in one’s life in this year? I guess so, because each of us has a destiny to fulfill, and what that is, is a surprise that we need to look forward to.

I’ve been browsing at wordpress.com, encoding the 2015 on the tag part to search for some resolution coming from other people. Many of them showed up different resolution in their life were you can find them as somewhat pleasing. People do has a way of doing things, hoping it will be the best. And yet, it is somewhat wonderful since it gives hope to one’s heart that somewhere in their life in this year, they change something for good. We are not perfect, we do make mistakes. It is an inevitable circumstances that human do have this kind of nature. You and I is not excuse for this true concept, but despite of this, I would say human is an awesome creation. Trying to make up for something that has gone wrong in their past life.

From previous years, we happened to learn so many things from our happy memories, and mostly from our sad memories. Usually, the sad one was something that triggers our loneliness. The deepest part of us, that saying “Someone help me, I don’t know what to do!” However, we want to disguise our weakness through showing others that “I am strong” which in reality, we gain cracks inside our heart once we felt the pain of being sad for something that had happened. Moving on is something that is hard. As they say “you must let go.” But let’s admit, this thing is a painful part in our life, yet we need it for us to free ourselves. Most of the human, and thousands of thousands of human even in the past felt this feeling in a most unexpected way. Circumstances always make us feel this pain before a person come along in his/her twilight zone in his/her life, and I am not exempted to that. I was born in an average family. At first we don’t have anything, but we do have each other for almost years, I never gained any problems except from my school thing. However, after 23 years of living, I did encounter one thing, my ex-husband. We broke up days ago, which I stated in my past blog. I don’t want to go into details, but as I felt I am not yet transcending myself in letting go. He is the first person who made me feel the true pain is. Truly, loving a person is something that will cause pain and that you will find yourself in the weakest form once it’s broken, and I did. I felt miserable being together with him. One thing is, it flash right into my face, the real weakness inside me and the reflection of who I truly am. Instead of encouraging me, he didn’t helped any of it, but instead he keep on piling up so many things that I couldn’t handle. It is like, our relationship is a curse that we need to be part ways. I feel terribly sad about it, and I am always asking if when will be the day I need to let go of this pain? I am hoping that next year, will be the time I will learn to let go.

Aside from this, I list all of the things I planned to do this year 2015 and here it is:

               (I need to upload my mind mapping sooner)

                My plan somewhat scramble, but mind mapping is indeed a good things in planning. It is missed up, but I still need to arrange it within this two days before the year ends. I want to implement this plan by January, hopefully. So In order give a view in my plan, let’s summarize it shall we? Let’s take them one by one.

  1. Spiritual – This is the most important priorities that I needed to accomplish. I’ve planning on to grow this part of me, yet I couldn’t for the fact that myself wouldn’t. I might say that it is my nafs or desire that make this thing out of my priorities. However, this year I will try the best as I can to be within my goal. May Allah guide me, and give tawfiq inside my mind to fulfill this.
  2. Different path – I wouldn’t state this thing directly in here for I am certain that someone might see this blog which I want this to be safe yet. But I am planning to try a certain path that might lead me somewhere, and learn the things I needed.
  3. Travel – I really wanted to go to JAPAN. I am hoping that this year will be that significant year where I will be having an adventure in this said place.
  4. Going to School and learn – I will do this practical thing which I would like to go to if my second list will be operational, if not, I guess I have to look for another thing to fulfill this.
  5. Save Money- OMG! My weakness! For almost six years I’ve been using my salary extravagantly without saving anything. Look at me right now, I’m yet at the starting point to save something.
  6. Read Books- I am not much of a reader, but I do believe that once you find a book that you will enjoy, it is like sweet cake, that you will grave for it always.
  7. Self-Development – I am my young adult stage, and I felt I’m still young child inside. Selfish and self-centered. I don’t want to go on like this. I want to mature and enhance myself with things that I needed the most.
  8. Exercise – I do this thing, but not that totally rigorous. I, particularly stop, go, stop and go with my exercise thing.

I am hoping that my list will be followed next year. Of course, it will depend on me. I do have a tendency to procrastinate, but as much as I can, time is an essence in living our lives. I guess, I’ve wasted too much time which I could not count them, if they did productive or not. Evaluating from my previews year, I guess none. However, I want to believe that I could do so many things in this year of the rum. I was watching “Once Upon a Time Series” and I could tell that what I’ve learned is to believe and have faith in all the things that I needed. I guess, I have to contemplate and meditate and ask myself from everything that had gone wrong, and things I couldn’t do. In this way I might find a better changes by next year. Live and Believe.

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TURNING POINT

I’ve never been used in counting days or whatever that comes my way. I guess, this 2014 was not the same with any kind of years that had passed. I can say it isn’t the fast pacing life that you could ever imagined, but changes did happened. I remember this following months;

January 2014 –     I was then very busy working out with my second course (i.e education)

February 2014 –    Attended a seminar in relation to Customer Service at Cagayan de Oro

March 2014 –        Continuing attending my school course

April 2014 –      Doing all the best I can to finish my requirements for the whole 6 subjects and even with the Field Studies instructed by our teachers in education.

May 2014 – Nothing happened much, I was kind of busy verifying our grades in St. Michael

June 2014 – I finally got my TOR in this course, and the next thing I did then was to file my papers for LET EXAM

July 2014 – I finally got out from COA and enter into the world of PagIBIG, and was assigned at Marawi Service Desk

August 2014 – It was then the 17th day of that month were I need to attend the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I was then so nervous that day, and everything keep dashing inside mind.

September 2014 – Nothing much happened here. I could say it’s my tranquil months.

October 2014 – on this month I received the result of the LET, and I’m thankful to God that I did pass! All my worries suddenly vanished and all was left was a thankful heart to God and to everyone for helping me out.

November 2014 – I was then so happy doing all my PRC related matters, and was then given the ticket for the big day “oath taking”

                For December 2014, I guess I want this month to be detailed, in the since that it was the current situation I was involved with until now. So, I was counting days from 1 to 12 day of December. Of course, I am not counting for the fact that it was then a Christmas, but it’s not. Christmas is not a practice in our religion, and I guess most of your guys, knows that Islam really don’t involve with this kind of celebration. Anyway, going back to my stories, while I was waiting, my parents decided to accompany me in the oath taking that was held last December 14, 2014 at Cagayan de Oro City. Before that day on December 13, 2014, we all went there, four of us to be exact (my parent, brother and of course yours truly). We did stayed at Tune Hotel. It was a very remarkable place. (In order for you to see what’s in this hotel, you can have a peek at the picture below.} I could say, I would waste some of my money staying in this hotel. Not only that you are comfortable with this hotel, and the staff were very accommodating but the building itself is very safe to anyone. If you are staying in Cagayan de Oro City, and would like to have a very comfortable stay in, I suggest to try their accommodation.

Tune Hotel

                On the day of oath taking, I was then very glad saying to myself; at last, all my efforts didn’t go to waste and here I am taking an oath for the first time in my life.” I was with the other hundreds of LET PASSER enjoying the feeling of gratitude and hoping for a new start to begin with. One thing, I was then thankful as well was that, a friend of mine was there. Seeing her in there was kind of assuring that what was happening then was real and it’s not a dream.

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                After the ceremony, we had a lunch date together with my family. As I stare at them, I would say it was a great thing to have a family bonding once in a while. Hope to have another session of this family bonding.

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                The next thing happen is having fun with my co office mate last December 19, 2014. It was a merry day, going off to work and having the whole night to enjoy together with our office family. We celebrated this at Villa Verde near at Gaisano Mall. As I mention early, that we don’t celebrate Christmas, but for the sake of camaraderie, we did joined them for this one night of fun.

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                Usually, fun always countered with sadness of thy heart. After a few days, I was disheartened by the news that strikes me. I saw it coming, but I never expect it would that be easy. I am healing my heart now. I don’t know when will be the day my heart would find peace, but I’m hoping it would be so soon. However, for the meantime, as the year ends, I am looking forward for the things that will happen by next year. Hope it will be much colorful than it is. HAPPY NEW YEAR to Everyone!

The Image through the Moonlight Rhythm!

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                I played your songs in this quite night. It seems I am typing these words through my keyboard where I imagine of playing the moonlight in a piano along with an orchestra as it arises my imagination in a splash! Let me give an insight of what image I do see in thy rhythm, as to let this feeling of you go through with the wind and cast it away in thy darkness.

                The writer herself feels she was a heroine in a very tragic story, where her other half (husband) betrayed her for a woman from a far distance. In comparison to other people in thy history, some royalties were imprisoned by their own destiny. Most of them marrying the person who claimed by their clan to be with her/him as to increase their wealth, and produce so many linkages with so many famous people. Prestige, wealth and pride were at seems to be the most precious that a person could ever have. It seems a futile to go against the tide of betraying the clan, since what is at stake is thy name of thy family, THE HONOR. Two hearts intertwined by faith without even giving a chance for their hearts to settle. Do you think will they ever last? Will you ever love someone as per instructed by the people nearest you? Most of the reader would answer to choose faith as predicted by their own will.

                What’s the hardest is that heart cannot be instructed to whom you will give thy love! A man who love somebody more than his life is something unbreakable. Even if you chained him to other woman’s chest. It will just cause pains and revenge. True love cannot be departed from each other. Though, a woman who became the third wheel is the most painful that a human can feel. Tormented by unrequited love. Forever dreaming of unrealistic event of the man he thought she would love. Tears beside her bed, and a thorny roads along her way. Day by day imagining the love she would have. Seeing the image of the man he has, but never has she owned, together with his woman that he loves but never owns. A woman whose heart is in pain, is like a curse that neither medicines, time nor miracles can heal! A man can tell lies after lies making his own credibility worsen, nevertheless, this is just a small amount of a price to pay compared to the heart being lied to. Forever being delusional of something she will never have, a pain that will kill her every day of her life. Hoped that she had married the first and the last man in her life, but it turns out to be a dead dream! Forever in the eyes of emptiness!

Someone to tell…

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How it is good to tell someone anything about something you wanted to say, and that even a little thing would be something you could share without feeling something so opposite or kind of awkward afterwards. I would like to write this on this wall at least I can get this thing off inside me. Alright, someone came inside my room to borrow something. I don’t want to be on details as for the names are concerned. Okay, they then wanted to borrow a formal dress. I take out everything inside my formal dress out of the closet. They pick what they need to choose, and when they’ve done that, they slowly went out. However, before doing so, the last one who get out of my room suddenly speak of something which is a verse, and that I know. I feel kind of offended. Why? Because I feel like a monster or something that she needed to speak that off inside my room. I don’t know. Wished I could say this to someone. I guess, I just need to be off inside my mind to move on! Will I just shared this thing off as too move on. If you wanna ask something about this, just ask the writer. Okay Guys!? See you for another blogging.

An Evil Presence of the so called Depression!

Troubled woman
Troubled woman

              What is Depression? As stated from the meaning from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, this monstrous word means a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. I have read so many articles in relation to this sickness, and many of them says different kinds. I don’t know what is real or not, nevertheless I had seen and observed, it is in did an illness that causes havoc to one self. I did wrote this issue as I’ve seen Robin WILLIAM’S article about his death a few days ago. It is so sad to know such guy who boost with energy in giving hundreds of people from across the oceans a laugh that meant to forget their own problems, only to find out that he has been fighting his own selves for how many years. Another man, was that guy who was an actor from the GLEE Club series, who seems to kill his self. Together with this was also Whitney Houston, who caused her life due to drugs. It seems a lot of Americans where really into drugs and alcohol when they feel depressed. And 100% not only them, who suffer from this ill-mannered coping mechanism of depression, because there are many people around the globe who are involved in this kind of action.

A word that not meant...
A word that not meant…

                Do I have the right to blame them or not? I guess, I don’t have the right to blame them in causing this menace in their own life since each and every one of us have different kinds of problems in life. Our generation in today’s age, we could manage to do whatever we wanted through technology, unlike the people of the past generation. Then along with this advancement, where the problem started, we became more dependent and many situations arises along with the mentality of each and every one. Many of us were gifted with a talent of coping up this improvement, but some humans don’t. It is a sad thing to say that many of the people who don’t know how to handle theirs selves ended up by bringing their own death. Unlike, harikiri in Japanese who kills their self because of disgrace, but this one wasn’t about honor. They’ve said that an act of suicide was a selfish act for the person who is committing this matter, but they didn’t know some of this people were fighting this as far as they did remembered in defeating their own problems. I could say it is hard when your enemy is your own self.

When death welcomes!
When death welcomes!

                I could not tell if what I’ve felt before and maybe now is somewhat in this kind of form, but I did felt this. I tell you, it is something you’ll never wanted to wish for. Why? Because a total negativity causing yourself a pain like your into the depth of hell. One feeling of this was like a constant feeling of being worthless. You feel like you don’t wanted to wake up every morning and telling yourself “How I wish I never waked up”. Another feeling of this monster was, every hour of your life, you feel uneasy and your health were being eaten until your mind is giving you an order to kill yourself. The worst thing here was, when you are at that point where you wanted to escape something but then again there is no way out, this moment will drag your brain out from thinking, “death is the only way”. When you feel this moment, you will feel shaky and find a solution to escape from something you wanted to escape for. Feeling all this kind of emotions is a one way or another causing devastating event in one’s self. In the religious side of story, they were saying that if you have a weakness in thy heart, and weak in believing in the power of God, they’ve said you were being punished. In some point I question this one, I did one time asked, how come? Did I do something wrong to undergo in such thing? Upon feeling all the negativity in some point in my life, I’ve reflected with those stuff that I have done before. I found out so many weakness in myself upon searching for an answer why I started feeling this kind of emotion. As I searched for an answer, it feels like I’ve been scanning pages to pages and learning this and that. One thing I did learned was, there were those attitudes and some other things within thyself that you could not accept that it is within you. You don’t like to admit that limitations are embodied in you, and that everything is uncontrollable. I’ve cried for so many days, and some answers about my other side of problems were being revealed to me. I don’t regret from knowing, and I’ve come across knowing myself better. I could say my religion saved me in one way or another. In Islam, killing one self is a TABOO. IF you kill yourself, you will not be judged in the life after, but instead you will directly be sent to HELL with no further ado. In my religion, alcohol and drugs are prohibited to intake since it causes oneself a great deal of destroying oneself little by little. There was a saying as well that it is your responsibility to take care of your own body, and you will be asked in the next life how did you used your life, and from thinking this question I wouldn’t like to answer some negative things.

 

Alcohol
Alcohol
Overdose with Drugs
Overdose with Drugs

                Those people who came across with the so called alcohol and drugs were by mean being harder to themselves. Yes, you will find yourself forgotten those wary feeling inside after taking them, nevertheless this emotion were just a temporary feeling that an expiration will be set in an hour. Due to its limitation, they intake and intake until they were addictive and cannot see the point of no return of going back. Maybe, indeed some survive from this addiction, but most of them cannot. Psychologists, therapist and another drugs can heal them in a minute, but then again it’s just temporary. The one who will decide is the victim itself on how he/she will instruct his/her own will. People can give them advice, but never can they make that victims let them do what they wanted. We are innate with the termed WILL. A decision that was being entrusted to us by the High Living with the power of knowledge and how we used them already depend upon us, as a human. I believe that everything have its own reason. Maybe, it is a sign to understand ourselves better with this problems, but over abusing and reacting in such a manner that will cost you more will just do no good.

Licensure Examination Experience

There were articles I had written the last few months ago about the story how I ended myself in pursuing education as one of my interest. Now, I’ve experienced so many things along with it, and some of these were already in scripted in some pages of this website. So, here I am, going to tell my experience on how I go through a long series of process in order to reach the point where I need to attend the LET examination and ended up taking them.

I’ve started my review last 2014 of April, along with my friends at St. Louis Review Center. I thought of reviewing at that said center for me to recall everything that I did learned when I was in my elementary and secondary age. Being in the confinement of the office for almost 5 years, it take my basic knowledge away from this memory of mine. Replenishing those information is needed, especially now that aging process is lurking along the way. The memory itself is starting to deteriorate if it is not well trained, and reviewing is the best option to suppress the unexpected events when someone is planning to take the LET Examination. This is why I took the risk in segregating my time for this task. It take my Saturday and Sunday time to go there and review. I was pleased by the schedule because we were mixed together with those freshly graduate of some universities/colleges within Iligan City. In those time, I was hoping not to be mixed up together with the meranao students, because as far as everyone’s know, nobody know about my plan. I guess, I am one of those typical person who undergone with a secondary courses and now kind of hesitating to tell everyone else, unless they did pass the examination mentioned. For almost 4 months, I’ve been busy with my work and my schedule for review. The time was ticking so swiftly that I almost forgot my other worries. God has been so kind to us since the examination were being moved from July 27, 2014 to August 17, 2014. There might be a reason for this event to happen besides the reason from the Catholic side why the exam ended up in a cancellation. This gave us plenty of time to prepare more in the exam. Along those days, I did realized that I didn’t made a mistake in reviewing at the said center, because it did gave me time to read, relearn and experience about this situation.

Before the exam, we did had a hard time getting our grades to be completed because one of our teacher didn’t gave our grade on time. For this reason we’ve waited days before she did gave us, and the filing of the examination were more or less 6 days before its deadline. Upon receiving the information of the completed grades, I didn’t hesitate to be absent on the first day of working days to settle things ahead. I did go to Saint Michael College in order for me to complete everything to get my Transcript of Records. I went to the Dean requesting my TOR, and gave me some instruction to complete. In addition with the prescribed requirements, one of this was paying our balance at the review center as to get certificate coming from SLRC. Upon knowing, it revealed to us that SMC and SLRC were somehow connected with each other. Having no choice, we ended up paying 4,000. That afternoon of Monday, we submitted the certificate from SLRC, together with the signed permit at the registrar. Giving them those papers, we were informed that they will be giving us a message after our TOR has been made. After three or four hours, we were pleased upon telling us that it was already had been finished.

Three days after its completion my friends and I have decided to go at the PRC office to file our papers for the Licensure Examination. We did bring the following requirements:

  1. Original and photocopies of Transcript of Records with Special Order and Date of Graduation, with scanned pictures and with remarks “FOR BOARD EXAMINATION PURPOSE ONLY”. Graduates of government schools and institutions/programs accredited by recognized accredited agencies under the FAAP are exempted from SO. Graduates of New Schools/Degree Programs must submit School Recognition and/or Permit to operate.
  2. Original and photocopy of NSO-issued Birth Certificate (if NSO copy is not clear, bring copy from the Local Civil Registrar)
  3. For married females, original and photocopies of NSO-issued Marriage Contract (if NSO copy is not clear, bring copy from Local Civil Registrar)
  4. Two (2) passport size colored with white background and complete name tag.
  5. Current Community Tax Certificate (Cedula)
  6. Other specific requirements are required by the Commission or the Professional Regulatory Board.

We did get there early at around 6 in the morning and hoping to be the first in line. However, arriving there after 2 hours of travelling, there were so many people in lined. I ended up getting 2k plus as a number. We’ve waited outside for one hour to be called. At that day many people were at PRC, some of them were renewing their license and many of the people were filing for the LET EXAM, just like us. We did get through with another line, as we get nearer to the front desk who would check our papers, we assured that our requirements were not lacking. As I was being entertained that moment, I was praying that everything about my documents were all complete. It didn’t take us much time for that clearing and all three of us were finished after paying a full amount of 900. The cashier told us that the NOA and the receipts will be given to us a week before the examination. We left a relief, and relaxed from the travel and the stress from filing our documents with a nice window shopping at Limketkai Shopping Center.

More than 30 days before the examination, all of us were tensed for the exam. We continued our review during Saturday and Sunday. Whereas the days were fast ticking, I thought of having a self-review after office. Someone did advised me to review because it’s not a 100 percent that everything in the review will come up. Days after days after days, I continued the self-review. I know that I didn’t totally focus, but I do know that I did review as much as my interest arises. I believe that forcing yourself too much will do no good. There were so many things playing along inside my mind along the way. I did tried to counter those negative thoughts that encircling my mind, by thinking of doing the best as I can to motivate myself. I did set up from these brain of mine that I need to pass the exam as to not waste my time from studying for 6 months plus 3 or 4 months of review. I already used up my time and energy doing this things along the way. As the days passed, there encountered changes happen, and one of this were my office schedule. I was assigned at Marawi Service Desk by my own agency, and then later on had an office scheduled of Sunday to Thursday, which caused me to decide to move my review from Saturday-Sunday to Friday-Saturday, as I’ve asked permission to Sir Ken about my plan, he told me that it’s too late for me to do this since the exam was getting nearer. For this reason, I don’t have the choice but to review only on Saturday, and excuse myself during Sunday.

Calendar

Seventeen days before the examination, I’ve decided to go to Cagayan de Oro to get my NOA together with my friends NOA. Since I was there, I already reserved for a hotel for us to stay in. I went to Will Shire HOTEL to settle for a reservation, but unfortunately they were already full on those dates I did mentioned. I was left with no choice and make a reservation at AMAREA HOTEL which is fortunately did accommodate us for the reservation on those two dates I did prefer. I paid 795 for a one day reservations, and the next day as per mentioned will be paid on the exact date after Friday.

Amarea Hotel
Amarea Hotel
NOA for LET
NOA for LET
Receipts
Receipts

The hours were ticking and the days were changing. As I crossed those days from my calendar before August 17, I did feel tensed each day. When the day arrived, it was August 15, 2014, me and my friend went ahead in order to catch Friday prayer at CDO. We’ve stayed there for two days, while two of my friends had a rigorous flash back of all the review we did back then. As for me, I choose to relax. We all did aside from reviewing were window shopping, buy foods, and more important one is sleeping. We did all this just to relax from our wary minds. Before the exam, I and my friend went to our designated room as to know where our room is before the examination. The PRC already written the things to be needed before the exam.

A Reminder
A Reminder
Rooms at Bulua Nat'l High School
Rooms at Bulua Nat’l High School
Front Gate
Front Gate

Rooms

Set for the examinee
Set for the examinee
Studying Tandem...
Studying Tandem…

We didn’t noticed that the day was up. We wake up ourselves at around 3:30 in the morning; review a little bit, eat our breakfast, take a bathe and prepare our things. I was the one who got out since I was assigned at BULUA NATIONAL HIGHSCHOOL which was far from the center. I was so thankful that when I got out at the hotel, a taxi was already have been there, and asked him to get me at the school I’ve been assigned to. Upon arriving, there were so many people in waiting to open the gate. I’ve seen one of my acquaintance, who was familiar to me, but never knew her name. She questioned me while we were both waiting, but it was so fortunate that a friend of mine was there, calling for me. I was relief when she does that because that girl I meet were starting to ask about my workplace, which I don’t want to be much open about it when I am in different situation. We talked with Ms Faida together with her friend about so many things in regard with the LET exams. While waiting there for almost 45 minutes, the door opened and each of us went to our designated room were assigned to. I was amazed the first day I saw my room assignment since all the numbers in seeing were all in 17. Date was August 17, my room was 17, seat number 17 and my name was written on page 17. What a coincidence, I say!

All in Seventeen!
All in Seventeen!

The schedule is all written in this way:

Schedule for the Examination
Schedule for the Examination
General Instruction for the examinee
General Instruction for the examinee

The examination went well after hours of taking them. I could say, I did well on the General and Professional Education but the Specialization were kind of a nose bleed. From the 2,500 test questions we did take at the review center for this specialization area, I ended up only three question similar from our review and everything I did used was stock knowledge. As I review my test paper for second time around that day, I was confident that I did my best, and the only thing left for me is to hope for a positive result for the examination. For those people who is reading this blog of mine. Wish me and everyone who take the test a Good luck!

The Wandering Heart

After years, we’ve never been a real couple. Perhaps, it is me who is the reason for this or you who seems to be undecided on things you want to do in life. I always wander wither you really like me or not. I did question you this one, but the only thing you answered were silence words that the wind couldn’t even tell wither you utter a words or not. It disheartened me about this issue, but I couldn’t force you because I really am afraid that you might declare a negative words that will even give me side effects, just like a poison that could kill its patient in one drink.

I put every words on this writing because I have no one else to relay this one. Perhaps, I might be looking for someone to understand and give me the appropriate answer to my queries in your action. Or I might be hoping for you to read these words that I’m putting in this wall, because I always wanted an affection coming from you that no one else can give in this world. I am seeking love, not from a sister nor brother, not from a parent nor anyone, but only your love that I am after. Yet this one seems a light year away for me to reach. I didn’t even know if for example I would travel unto this, will I ever see myself at the end? I couldn’t tell.

Do you know that whenever you go home, you’re living a scar in my heart? Do you have a heart that could feel this wanting from a wife to her husband? Do you know that the one who is writing this one really does love you, but she’s been in doubting mood because she didn’t know you will? She couldn’t reflect herself to someone like you who put his self in a protected side of a barrier. You were planning a lot of things in your life, but do you ever think of a plan for us? I am afraid, I could tell you didn’t. It appears you don’t know what to do with me all along. I could never imagine with someone else better than you, but if ever there is someone who seems to care enough for the writer itself, who exceeds you, then maybe I couldn’t help but to hope for this one. You always left my heart a scar, and I didn’t know how long I will keep this. But remember, in everything there is always an expiration, as I said earlier, if there is someone who will go beyond you, who cares for me a lot more than you do, then let me say the word sorry but I might fell for this. You could not keep a wandering heart from wandering for your love that seems an impossible to reach.

Don’t let this heart from wandering, because someday it will grow weak from WAITING!

Wandering Heart
Wandering Heart