How to heal a broken Heart?

Even A hundred folds of grief is divisible by love. A statement that I did really like from reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: From Lemonade to Lemon. I am not the only one who suffered from this disease known LOVE by human for how many millennial. There are so many reasons for a couple to separate ways. Girlfriend-Boyfriend relationship could end up for so many reasons. How much more for a couple, whose been married for how many years. When does a relationship ends? When both were already through from each other? When sparks already worn out? Or did each of the individual find another love to spend their time with and find if it’s worth staying?  For those who suffered and reading this, how did you heal  your broken heart?

The traces are still there. Forgiveness is not yet given, and I don’t know when will be that day. Some people said, the sign of moving on is when you forgive the one who did the hurtful things to you. Is this true? But then again, I couldn’t totally answer that.

So below this are things I did just to pull myself up.

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1. Write your thoughts out!

From my previews post, I did write an articles. For I couldn’t keep my emotion as much as I can. When we were in that situation, thoughts suddenly overflowing. All the queries. All the doubts that cannot be answered suddenly takes a toll on me. I am an introvert person. I just can’t tell you what my thoughts out loud, unlike extrovert people. I keep them, but in  some way or another, there is always a so called limits to everything. I recently realized that during those days. The limits of comprising everything inside. So I thought I need an outlet. Something that could minimize the bearing, keep myself in total check, and blocking my mind off from thinking. I did the writings, posted some of them to this page. Most of my write ups was posted in a certain website that stopped working years ago. Ended up deleting every post I had back then, but that’s okay now, it’s all in the past. Aside from posting them from  websites, I am also writing them up in a journal.

It feels good when you write them up. Looking from them years after, you will surely tell yourself, “How stupid I was back then!” and you will feel like it was the most embarrassing and funniest moment ever happen to your life.

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2. Go out and do some Aerobics!

The music was loud, my co-aerobics ladies was busy dancing, and I was like doing the moves but I had a teary eyes. I held back, controlled it, and do the moves. I did go through readings from websites, magazines and other reading materials just to get rid the thoughts of our relationship from my mind and one of their advice was do the moves. By doing an exercise that releases an endorphin (or the happy hormones)  from your body will increase and help you to get on the positive track. It is indeed effective.

My goal back then was not to get my body fats out from my system, but to get my mind off the track from thinking of him.

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3. Find a Trustworthy person who experience the same situation.

There were those moments when  writing isn’t enough. You want an advice from someone who can understand your distress, and know how to deal on some of your deep worries.  I am thankful to my friend, who was there when I needed an advice. Someone I can go to when everything seems so unclear. Thanks to her, I conquered that feeling.

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4. Look for something that will get yourself busy.

Working on something that will let your thoughts drift off from the burdened you carry within yourself is a must. You can gear yourself to do something that might interest you. Don’t let yourself do nothing, and think everything all over and over again in your home at your own emotional expense. Go out! You can do a cooking class, stitch a little bit, go for a seminar, training, or do anything that will make you happy. Taking one step at a time is worth a try than moping around.  Aerobics isn’t enough for me back then, I invest my earnings in learning new things. I enrolled in Education at St. Michael for 1 year class with 24 units subject at hand. I missed going to school. Doing this, really gave me plenty of things to worry that will keep my mind off of him. I got lot of home works, papers to be finished, reports to do and immersion to go to. It was then a busy year. I was working Weekdays, going to school during Weekends, a daily dose of 1 hour aerobics and doing all my papers during night time. Speaking of this, I kind of missed doing it.

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5. Don’t let yourself play slow songs or something romantic.

As much as I can, I don’t like listening to mellow music. I need something pop, rock or something that I can apply my aerobic thing. For listening mellow music will get me to square one, and it can took a little bit of time to pull myself again.  So don’t let yourself do this, unless you’ve moved on.

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6. Travel

After I gave my ultimate decision to my father about us, I decided to go somewhere to heal my undeniable broken heart. I went to the place where I really love, Japan. I did do a little bit of savings for almost a months. As far as my budget can stretch, I did try not to spend too much. Trying to stop myself from the whim of my own wants, and thankfully, it was a success. I got my dream. I went there and it was the most happiest thing ever that did happen to my existence here on earth. It means a lot to me.

Each and every one of us has different coping up mechanism. It so happen that, what is written here is something I did try to pull myself from this distress.  You can try anything that is appropriate to you, no one needs to control you for what you want.

For those viewers whose reading this and has a same situation, you know that you are not alone. If you want to cry, cry like a river, but don’t make it forever. The last thing that I did learn from all of this is that; No one can save you at the end of day, but you, yourself alone. Live fully, and live well.

APPLYING JAPAN VISA

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As per experience,  applying for japan visa needs an effort for a tourist. You can’t just go to the embassy and apply for it personally. You need to go through to accredited travel agencies that allowed by the Japanese Embassy to transact with them. You need to choose, and better to canvass on how much processing fee they need for you to pay.  Last 2015, we let Pan Pacific do our transaction with processing fee worth 2,000. It’s quite a lot, however our determination didn’t stop from wanting to go to Japan.

The next time around, year 2017, we did canvas for other agencies who can possibly accommodate us with a lower processing fee. Pan pacific was still at 2,000, others were 1,200 and luckily, we did find Discovery Tour with 800 php as processing fee. Without any further ado, most of us decided to choose this agency.

To help those who are planning to go to the Land of the rising sun. Below are the list of documents needed by the agency.

  1. OLD and New Passport

2. VISA APPLICATION FORM japan visa application form

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3. TWO COPIES OF PHOTO

4. NSO BIRTH CERTIFICATE

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5. CERTIFICATE OF EMPLOYMENT

IMAGE 56. ORIGINAL BANK CERTIFICATION

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7. INCOME TAX RETURN (FORM 2315)

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8. EMPLOYER IDENTIFICATION CARD

9. DAILY TRAVEL ITINERARY FOR JAPAN

IMAGE 1110. CEBU PACIFIC RECEIPT

IMAGE 1211. AIRBNB/AGODA RESERVATION

AGODA RESERVATION

  • KINZA NAKAMEGURO

Address: 2-16-14 Kamimeguro Meguro-ku, Tokyo 153-0051

Tel: 03-5773-6166  Fax No.: 03-5773-6099

AIRBNB

  • ★New open Tatami room★

Address: 〒125-0052  3Chome-28-25 Shibamata Katsushika-ku, Tōkyō-to

12. For those married, they are requirement NSO/PSA Marriage Contract.

TURNING POINT

I’ve never been used in counting days or whatever that comes my way. I guess, this 2014 was not the same with any kind of years that had passed. I can say it isn’t the fast pacing life that you could ever imagined, but changes did happened. I remember this following months;

January 2014 –     I was then very busy working out with my second course (i.e education)

February 2014 –    Attended a seminar in relation to Customer Service at Cagayan de Oro

March 2014 –        Continuing attending my school course

April 2014 –      Doing all the best I can to finish my requirements for the whole 6 subjects and even with the Field Studies instructed by our teachers in education.

May 2014 – Nothing happened much, I was kind of busy verifying our grades in St. Michael

June 2014 – I finally got my TOR in this course, and the next thing I did then was to file my papers for LET EXAM

July 2014 – I finally got out from COA and enter into the world of PagIBIG, and was assigned at Marawi Service Desk

August 2014 – It was then the 17th day of that month were I need to attend the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I was then so nervous that day, and everything keep dashing inside mind.

September 2014 – Nothing much happened here. I could say it’s my tranquil months.

October 2014 – on this month I received the result of the LET, and I’m thankful to God that I did pass! All my worries suddenly vanished and all was left was a thankful heart to God and to everyone for helping me out.

November 2014 – I was then so happy doing all my PRC related matters, and was then given the ticket for the big day “oath taking”

                For December 2014, I guess I want this month to be detailed, in the since that it was the current situation I was involved with until now. So, I was counting days from 1 to 12 day of December. Of course, I am not counting for the fact that it was then a Christmas, but it’s not. Christmas is not a practice in our religion, and I guess most of your guys, knows that Islam really don’t involve with this kind of celebration. Anyway, going back to my stories, while I was waiting, my parents decided to accompany me in the oath taking that was held last December 14, 2014 at Cagayan de Oro City. Before that day on December 13, 2014, we all went there, four of us to be exact (my parent, brother and of course yours truly). We did stayed at Tune Hotel. It was a very remarkable place. (In order for you to see what’s in this hotel, you can have a peek at the picture below.} I could say, I would waste some of my money staying in this hotel. Not only that you are comfortable with this hotel, and the staff were very accommodating but the building itself is very safe to anyone. If you are staying in Cagayan de Oro City, and would like to have a very comfortable stay in, I suggest to try their accommodation.

Tune Hotel

                On the day of oath taking, I was then very glad saying to myself; at last, all my efforts didn’t go to waste and here I am taking an oath for the first time in my life.” I was with the other hundreds of LET PASSER enjoying the feeling of gratitude and hoping for a new start to begin with. One thing, I was then thankful as well was that, a friend of mine was there. Seeing her in there was kind of assuring that what was happening then was real and it’s not a dream.

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                After the ceremony, we had a lunch date together with my family. As I stare at them, I would say it was a great thing to have a family bonding once in a while. Hope to have another session of this family bonding.

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                The next thing happen is having fun with my co office mate last December 19, 2014. It was a merry day, going off to work and having the whole night to enjoy together with our office family. We celebrated this at Villa Verde near at Gaisano Mall. As I mention early, that we don’t celebrate Christmas, but for the sake of camaraderie, we did joined them for this one night of fun.

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                Usually, fun always countered with sadness of thy heart. After a few days, I was disheartened by the news that strikes me. I saw it coming, but I never expect it would that be easy. I am healing my heart now. I don’t know when will be the day my heart would find peace, but I’m hoping it would be so soon. However, for the meantime, as the year ends, I am looking forward for the things that will happen by next year. Hope it will be much colorful than it is. HAPPY NEW YEAR to Everyone!