The following days after December 31, 2014.

121714-2015

Another year is going at its end, and newly tide is now on its way to make everything different. Another year for celebrations, and year of adventure in our life. Do you think something will change in one’s life in this year? I guess so, because each of us has a destiny to fulfill, and what that is, is a surprise that we need to look forward to.

I’ve been browsing at wordpress.com, encoding the 2015 on the tag part to search for some resolution coming from other people. Many of them showed up different resolution in their life were you can find them as somewhat pleasing. People do has a way of doing things, hoping it will be the best. And yet, it is somewhat wonderful since it gives hope to one’s heart that somewhere in their life in this year, they change something for good. We are not perfect, we do make mistakes. It is an inevitable circumstances that human do have this kind of nature. You and I is not excuse for this true concept, but despite of this, I would say human is an awesome creation. Trying to make up for something that has gone wrong in their past life.

From previous years, we happened to learn so many things from our happy memories, and mostly from our sad memories. Usually, the sad one was something that triggers our loneliness. The deepest part of us, that saying “Someone help me, I don’t know what to do!” However, we want to disguise our weakness through showing others that “I am strong” which in reality, we gain cracks inside our heart once we felt the pain of being sad for something that had happened. Moving on is something that is hard. As they say “you must let go.” But let’s admit, this thing is a painful part in our life, yet we need it for us to free ourselves. Most of the human, and thousands of thousands of human even in the past felt this feeling in a most unexpected way. Circumstances always make us feel this pain before a person come along in his/her twilight zone in his/her life, and I am not exempted to that. I was born in an average family. At first we don’t have anything, but we do have each other for almost years, I never gained any problems except from my school thing. However, after 23 years of living, I did encounter one thing, my ex-husband. We broke up days ago, which I stated in my past blog. I don’t want to go into details, but as I felt I am not yet transcending myself in letting go. He is the first person who made me feel the true pain is. Truly, loving a person is something that will cause pain and that you will find yourself in the weakest form once it’s broken, and I did. I felt miserable being together with him. One thing is, it flash right into my face, the real weakness inside me and the reflection of who I truly am. Instead of encouraging me, he didn’t helped any of it, but instead he keep on piling up so many things that I couldn’t handle. It is like, our relationship is a curse that we need to be part ways. I feel terribly sad about it, and I am always asking if when will be the day I need to let go of this pain? I am hoping that next year, will be the time I will learn to let go.

Aside from this, I list all of the things I planned to do this year 2015 and here it is:

               (I need to upload my mind mapping sooner)

                My plan somewhat scramble, but mind mapping is indeed a good things in planning. It is missed up, but I still need to arrange it within this two days before the year ends. I want to implement this plan by January, hopefully. So In order give a view in my plan, let’s summarize it shall we? Let’s take them one by one.

  1. Spiritual – This is the most important priorities that I needed to accomplish. I’ve planning on to grow this part of me, yet I couldn’t for the fact that myself wouldn’t. I might say that it is my nafs or desire that make this thing out of my priorities. However, this year I will try the best as I can to be within my goal. May Allah guide me, and give tawfiq inside my mind to fulfill this.
  2. Different path – I wouldn’t state this thing directly in here for I am certain that someone might see this blog which I want this to be safe yet. But I am planning to try a certain path that might lead me somewhere, and learn the things I needed.
  3. Travel – I really wanted to go to JAPAN. I am hoping that this year will be that significant year where I will be having an adventure in this said place.
  4. Going to School and learn – I will do this practical thing which I would like to go to if my second list will be operational, if not, I guess I have to look for another thing to fulfill this.
  5. Save Money- OMG! My weakness! For almost six years I’ve been using my salary extravagantly without saving anything. Look at me right now, I’m yet at the starting point to save something.
  6. Read Books- I am not much of a reader, but I do believe that once you find a book that you will enjoy, it is like sweet cake, that you will grave for it always.
  7. Self-Development – I am my young adult stage, and I felt I’m still young child inside. Selfish and self-centered. I don’t want to go on like this. I want to mature and enhance myself with things that I needed the most.
  8. Exercise – I do this thing, but not that totally rigorous. I, particularly stop, go, stop and go with my exercise thing.

I am hoping that my list will be followed next year. Of course, it will depend on me. I do have a tendency to procrastinate, but as much as I can, time is an essence in living our lives. I guess, I’ve wasted too much time which I could not count them, if they did productive or not. Evaluating from my previews year, I guess none. However, I want to believe that I could do so many things in this year of the rum. I was watching “Once Upon a Time Series” and I could tell that what I’ve learned is to believe and have faith in all the things that I needed. I guess, I have to contemplate and meditate and ask myself from everything that had gone wrong, and things I couldn’t do. In this way I might find a better changes by next year. Live and Believe.

th

An Evil Presence of the so called Depression!

Troubled woman

Troubled woman

              What is Depression? As stated from the meaning from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, this monstrous word means a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. I have read so many articles in relation to this sickness, and many of them says different kinds. I don’t know what is real or not, nevertheless I had seen and observed, it is in did an illness that causes havoc to one self. I did wrote this issue as I’ve seen Robin WILLIAM’S article about his death a few days ago. It is so sad to know such guy who boost with energy in giving hundreds of people from across the oceans a laugh that meant to forget their own problems, only to find out that he has been fighting his own selves for how many years. Another man, was that guy who was an actor from the GLEE Club series, who seems to kill his self. Together with this was also Whitney Houston, who caused her life due to drugs. It seems a lot of Americans where really into drugs and alcohol when they feel depressed. And 100% not only them, who suffer from this ill-mannered coping mechanism of depression, because there are many people around the globe who are involved in this kind of action.

A word that not meant...

A word that not meant…

                Do I have the right to blame them or not? I guess, I don’t have the right to blame them in causing this menace in their own life since each and every one of us have different kinds of problems in life. Our generation in today’s age, we could manage to do whatever we wanted through technology, unlike the people of the past generation. Then along with this advancement, where the problem started, we became more dependent and many situations arises along with the mentality of each and every one. Many of us were gifted with a talent of coping up this improvement, but some humans don’t. It is a sad thing to say that many of the people who don’t know how to handle theirs selves ended up by bringing their own death. Unlike, harikiri in Japanese who kills their self because of disgrace, but this one wasn’t about honor. They’ve said that an act of suicide was a selfish act for the person who is committing this matter, but they didn’t know some of this people were fighting this as far as they did remembered in defeating their own problems. I could say it is hard when your enemy is your own self.

When death welcomes!

When death welcomes!

                I could not tell if what I’ve felt before and maybe now is somewhat in this kind of form, but I did felt this. I tell you, it is something you’ll never wanted to wish for. Why? Because a total negativity causing yourself a pain like your into the depth of hell. One feeling of this was like a constant feeling of being worthless. You feel like you don’t wanted to wake up every morning and telling yourself “How I wish I never waked up”. Another feeling of this monster was, every hour of your life, you feel uneasy and your health were being eaten until your mind is giving you an order to kill yourself. The worst thing here was, when you are at that point where you wanted to escape something but then again there is no way out, this moment will drag your brain out from thinking, “death is the only way”. When you feel this moment, you will feel shaky and find a solution to escape from something you wanted to escape for. Feeling all this kind of emotions is a one way or another causing devastating event in one’s self. In the religious side of story, they were saying that if you have a weakness in thy heart, and weak in believing in the power of God, they’ve said you were being punished. In some point I question this one, I did one time asked, how come? Did I do something wrong to undergo in such thing? Upon feeling all the negativity in some point in my life, I’ve reflected with those stuff that I have done before. I found out so many weakness in myself upon searching for an answer why I started feeling this kind of emotion. As I searched for an answer, it feels like I’ve been scanning pages to pages and learning this and that. One thing I did learned was, there were those attitudes and some other things within thyself that you could not accept that it is within you. You don’t like to admit that limitations are embodied in you, and that everything is uncontrollable. I’ve cried for so many days, and some answers about my other side of problems were being revealed to me. I don’t regret from knowing, and I’ve come across knowing myself better. I could say my religion saved me in one way or another. In Islam, killing one self is a TABOO. IF you kill yourself, you will not be judged in the life after, but instead you will directly be sent to HELL with no further ado. In my religion, alcohol and drugs are prohibited to intake since it causes oneself a great deal of destroying oneself little by little. There was a saying as well that it is your responsibility to take care of your own body, and you will be asked in the next life how did you used your life, and from thinking this question I wouldn’t like to answer some negative things.

 

Alcohol

Alcohol

Overdose with Drugs

Overdose with Drugs

                Those people who came across with the so called alcohol and drugs were by mean being harder to themselves. Yes, you will find yourself forgotten those wary feeling inside after taking them, nevertheless this emotion were just a temporary feeling that an expiration will be set in an hour. Due to its limitation, they intake and intake until they were addictive and cannot see the point of no return of going back. Maybe, indeed some survive from this addiction, but most of them cannot. Psychologists, therapist and another drugs can heal them in a minute, but then again it’s just temporary. The one who will decide is the victim itself on how he/she will instruct his/her own will. People can give them advice, but never can they make that victims let them do what they wanted. We are innate with the termed WILL. A decision that was being entrusted to us by the High Living with the power of knowledge and how we used them already depend upon us, as a human. I believe that everything have its own reason. Maybe, it is a sign to understand ourselves better with this problems, but over abusing and reacting in such a manner that will cost you more will just do no good.

Help Message!

Yesterday morning, I was looking at my email inbox. When I do this I am also checking up on things inside my Junk Inbox (SPASM) if there were something for me there that are urgent. To my curiosity, I did saw this one email from an unknown addressee stating from her Subject:

“PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP”

mail

I got puzzled in this message.

puzzled

I did click it and there, I read her statement stating “I need your help”. Then right after that I’ve decided to give her a reply asking; “help from what?”. The next day after that (like right now) I am here again at the office checking up on my emails, and there I saw another message coming from her and when I opened it, KABOOM! A big phrase suddenly appeared, with a good English and Grammar Skill. She mentioned many things, and one of this was introducing herself. There were so many thing she did mentioned, and one highlighter from the things she spoke about from her letter was about a transfer of a big amount of money that consist of Million Dollar. She wanted to transfer this money to me, because as she explained, her husband died and no child to give this money, and left with a greedy friends and relatives to leave that certain amount. According to her, most of the properties of her husband were already sold by his relatives and now that she is sick, those people were just waiting for her to be pronounced as a dead person at the hospital she was in. For this reason, she wanted to fulfill her husband’s wish. This wish was to use this money in helping some people in need or build an orphanage for the children who don’t have any home to go to. She even mentions about Allah (swt), and other religious stuff. When she did mentioned this, somehow I suddenly got doubt whether she was stating the truth or not, because if she didn’t I guess, I won’t read her letter any further. In the last portion of her letter, she was saying to reply her message urgently by me, stating my full name and address, and even tell something about myself. If I do so, she wanted to pursue the money transfer she’s going to make.

baby

I really doubt this message since there were those instances where I received few of them to some countries like in the continent of Africa, stating about money transfer. Since this woman was mentioning again and again about the name of the Almighty, I did send her a reply and I did state there:

“I’ve been receiving a certain email just like this, money transferring. I am not sure either to trust you or not. There are so many things just like this that I have been receiving for how many months now and I guess, I need a definite proof of this story.

Furthermore, I am very confused of why you are entrusting this amount of money, who is a very stranger to you?

I replied in this message of yours since you are speaking about Allah (swt) in your story. So, I am assuming that you are a religious person. I am a Muslim born here in the Philippines. I am an average person living in an ordinarily life. I don’t have anything to be proud of except for the fact that I am living a good way of living. If you want to trust me on the things you’ve mentioned in the letter. Gave some information that I could validate, because a mere letter and a mere story telling is a mere lie without getting things into full details. I could not give the information you need unless; I could see the truth behind this.”

However, if this is true…I guess, I could fulfill her husband’s wish, because here in our place, there are those certain areas that needs help. There are those children from remote area who needs a lot of attention because of their poor situation there. There are those children who cannot go to school because they need to work for their parents, and sacrifice their studies. As well as students who are in need of school materials. I guess, I need to build a team on this project since I could not do this alone. I will ask help from my good friends, whom I could entrusted this kind of stuff.  These things will happen if this woman is stating the truth; if not then it’ll be a punishment for her and a sin.

helping hand

PS: Guys! I am raising a fund going to Japan and I am hoping for someone to back me up on this plan trip. hehe You can visit it the information at Trevolta Page. Thank you!

Sin

Islam

Islam

Today, I’ll be sharing about what I had learned from the seminar I went to last two weeks ago. I’m sorry if I didn’t share this to you guys earlier on. Anyway guys, I did find the seminar very productive. I didn’t catch the speaker’s name but I got interested from what she is tackling about, and how she was presenting her message. Her voice was loud that you can sense the sincerity out of it. Feel the strong sense of being a Muslim by words.

Islam does have many type/kinds under it, just like Christianity, but Islam is beyond 1 type. According to some sources, Islam has 72 and Christianity does have a 71. Please correct me if this number is wrong. From those big sectors in Islam, I am a SUNNI so as well the preacher and the people who are there. The preacher suddenly mentioned about this group of SHIA, one of the sectors of Islam, who are trying to preach this kind of teaching all over our place. It was being said that they are giving money to some people especially those younger people to attract them in becoming a part of their activities, which I think isn’t right. Making the people believe in your belief through buying them isn’t a pleasing attitude. You cannot tell what other people to believe in, because that is a natural instinct. Anyway, maybe some of you are wandering what’s the difference between these two sectors of Islam.

Sunni – based on Wikipedia is the largest branch of Islam; its adherents are referred to in Arabic as ahl as-sunnah wa l-jamāʻah (Arabic: أهل السنة والجماعة‎), “people of the tradition of Muhammad and the consensus of the Ummah” or ahl as-sunnah (Arabic: أهل السنة‎). For short, in English, they are known as Sunni Muslims, Sunnis, and Sunnites. Sunni Islam is the largest religious denomination for any religion in the world. Sunni Islam is sometimes referred to as the orthodox version of the religion. The word “Sunni” comes from the term Sunnah (Arabic: سنة‎), which refers to the sayings and actions of the Islamic prophet Muhammad as recorded in Hadiths.

Shi’i Islam is based on the Quran and the message of the Islamic prophet Muhammad attested in hadith recorded by the Shia, and certain books deemed sacred to the Shia (Nahj al-Balagha). In contrast to other Muslims, the Shia believe that only God has the right to choose a representative to safeguard Islam, the Quran and sharia. Thus the Shia look to Ali, Muhammad’s son-in-law, whom they revere and consider divinely appointed, as the rightful successor to Muhammad, and the first Imam. In the centuries after the death of Muhammad, the Shia extended this “Imami” doctrine to Muhammad’s family, the Ahl al-Bayt (“the People of the House”), and certain individuals among his descendants, known as Imams, who they believe possess special spiritual and political authority over the community, infallibility, and other quasi-divine traits.

Unlike Shia, Sunni believes that the last sealed prophet is the Prophet (S.A.W), and after him will be no other prophets to come, yet shia go beyond in this believe and made Ali as the last prophet as so it seems in the records. I don’t really don’t know what was their aim but as for me, I grow up in a Sunni believe and I will be one, until the end of time, In sha Allah. This is the reason why the preacher told us to be more careful in going to a seminar, for us not to be deceived.

Sin

Sin

Let’s go the main discussion of this seminar. The preacher tackled about the Dhunob, which is mostly known as Sin. The meaning of this Dhunob is doing work against Islam. Let’s enumerate some of this that was being told there:

  1. Doing those acts that were told forbidden is a SIN.
  2. Not doing those obligations as stated by the ruler of all is a SiN.
  3. The preacher just told us that there are major and minor sins.  That is punishable with 40 kinds of punishment.

One great example is committing a fornification. When you commit fornications then the punishment for you will be 100 stones. You will be stoned by the people even your family. If you live, then that will be it. However, if you commit adultery while you are married, you will be stoned to death. If the male survive from this punishment, he is required to be thrown out for one year.

  1. Those people who talk ill to others are a Sin. It will not be forgiven unless he would do the “Tawbat” or asking forgiveness.
  2. It will also be a sin committed if you bribe some people to vote you in the election or the other way around is also a sin.
  3. Following your whim/desire is also a sin.

According from the records there are 4 major sins but Omar (R.A) enumerated 7 of them.

  1. Praying to others beside Allah (S.W.T).
  2. Sorcery
  3. Killing other people
  4. Spending the money that was left for the orphan child.
  5. Spending the earned money that came from interest.
  6. A Muslim person who runs away while in the middle of the fight.
  7. Accusing a woman for committing adultery/fornification without any evidence.

Other sins were also being enumerated from the seminars and these are the following.

  1. Not asking forgiveness from Allah (swt) believing that what he/she had done is something not to be forgiven.
  2. Promising something that he/she isn’t sure of doing it for real.
  3. Gaining interest.
  4. Adultery/Fornification
  5. Stealing
  6. Accusing your spouse to be committing Zina.
  7. Drinking wine/alcohol.
  8. Being prideful person.
  9. Cutting the ties with family member.
  10. Lying
  11. Bribery
  12. Male doing the Female actions or vice versa
  13. Being cruel to neighbor
  14. Boys who don’t pray in mosque.

These were the thing that I did take noted on the occasion, and I know there are lots of them. Sins are inevitable to man, and asking forgiveness is something that matters in this kind of situation. As a person, I asked Allah (swt) to enlighten my heart, and make me realize that living is only for Him.

HAPPY BLOGGINGS

A Punishment for Missing Out

              In my daily living, waking my morning at 6 am makes me feel like there is something wrong, and usually I don’t like waking up at that time as much as possible. The explanation why I don’t feel so good is because I am sure that by that time I already missed my dawn prayer, which makes me feel guilty when this happen.

prayer190211

             So most probably I always set my alarm cell phone at around 4:30 in the morning so that I can still have minutes to wake myself up before 5 in the morning. For me, when I wake up this early makes me feel like I can conquer the day and I feel that my day is complete. Though usually, I would think of sleeping the whole day round, but there is something in me which makes me feel uncomfortable when I do this kind of stuff. I feel like there is missing. So, whether I like it or not, I really need to wake my body up.

          Daily Prompt really picks a topic which relates my morning waking hour for this day. I feel guilty this Sunday Morning because I’ve missed my prayer. For this reason, I’ve come up in punishing myself with pulling some weeds out i n my back yard, and clean some stuff outside the house which isn’t my cup of tea.

DSC08397

                I don’t sleep at around 3 in the morning, unless I have something in hand that I needed to. What I hate when I sleep at this time is that my body usually shaken up when I put myself into sleep after 3 in the morning.  As much as possible, sleeping at 3 in the morning is a big NO for me!

Happy Bloggings

I love her as my MUSLIM sister!

woman                There is that certain person who did came in my life, and indeed I am very thankful to her because of some aspects. I won’t be mentioning that person’s name here as to keep her name in private. She is a very religious person, thoughtful, kind, caring, and very firm in her conviction. I did meet her long before, and in some circumstances our path did cross in one moment in life. I did judge here as woman of upper classman. I also did classify her as a woman who seems to be arrogant and don’t care about other people and won’t talk that much. But when that opportunity came along, and became an acquaintance of her, everything of that idea suddenly vanished. The saying that goes “Don’t judge the book by its cover” was very true. I never thought she would be like a big sister to me in the long run, and I felt like I am very welcome to her. When we do have those times together, I am always asking about our religion especially on my misunderstanding over things, and when I do that she always explains it to me in a very concise manner and in more understandable way. Despite of what I had under through during my dark stage in my life, she never question nor intrude in my private life. Maybe, she did understand some of my sentiment, and where am I that point. However, I felt that if ever I do need someone to tell, i could count on her. I always asked, what does she have for her to attract me in her wonderful attitude? I did even prayed that if chances happen, i would like to adopt here way of living because as for me she has something within her that I admire the most.

                    In our religion, there is that saying which goes to those people whom God’s love has that kind of aura which radiates and influences those people who surrounds her and in my own perspective, she has that. May Allah (swt) forgive me, but in some way or another she has been favoured in a good way. I am very thankful to God, that in some way He did make our path cross. I love her as a sister, and admire her as a sample of a Muslim woman. May Allah (swt) protect her family.

Random Thoughts!

Feeling the breeze of the wind during the early sun rise, makes you wonder how things happen in many different ways. There are those times were you feel all alone, times you feel happy, times that you are mostly in pain, and times were you find solitude. In most cases, it’s hard when you find yourself in too much direction to follow in your life.  Time will never tell where the right direction you should be heading. It is still and unmovable. As an individual, we are given the free will to carry out the decision we’ve made for our own life, and live by it. A choice that either makes you happy or not, but whatever it is, reasons are attached to it. We mostly thought to find the right reason, however asking yourself silently, you will never find the right one, most of them are natural, a pre-destined. Questioning faith, is much harder more than asking yourself.

 It’s hard to believe how a young child grow up to be vulnerable in battling in this decisive war they called life.  We were equipped with different kind of weapons in life. As we pursue existence in accordance with our choice, we are also creating the right gear to tussle! Most of the people could easily look upon inside them the right weapon they could use, and the right shield they could utilize to protect their self from inevitable challenges. They are those proud and blessed one. Life for them is just like a breeze, like a tender rays of the sun that touches their skin gently. Nevertheless, those one who is lack of the gear they could use? Will you blame them for not creating it? They are those who have it, but they lack of that golden hands to utilize in order to fully revolutionize their gear for this crucial battle, because trepidation engulf them. Hands were tied up with a chain that they could not detach their selves from it alone. They were the one who stay still, as the time tick tucks on its own.