Wrecking Ball on Rage of Bahamut

I cant help myself but to create this video, blending the wrecking ball and this scene.

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How to heal a broken Heart?

Even A hundred folds of grief is divisible by love. A statement that I did really like from reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: From Lemonade to Lemon. I am not the only one who suffered from this disease known LOVE by human for how many millennial. There are so many reasons for a couple to separate ways. Girlfriend-Boyfriend relationship could end up for so many reasons. How much more for a couple, whose been married for how many years. When does a relationship ends? When both were already through from each other? When sparks already worn out? Or did each of the individual find another love to spend their time with and find if it’s worth staying?  For those who suffered and reading this, how did you heal  your broken heart?

The traces are still there. Forgiveness is not yet given, and I don’t know when will be that day. Some people said, the sign of moving on is when you forgive the one who did the hurtful things to you. Is this true? But then again, I couldn’t totally answer that.

So below this are things I did just to pull myself up.

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1. Write your thoughts out!

From my previews post, I did write an articles. For I couldn’t keep my emotion as much as I can. When we were in that situation, thoughts suddenly overflowing. All the queries. All the doubts that cannot be answered suddenly takes a toll on me. I am an introvert person. I just can’t tell you what my thoughts out loud, unlike extrovert people. I keep them, but in  some way or another, there is always a so called limits to everything. I recently realized that during those days. The limits of comprising everything inside. So I thought I need an outlet. Something that could minimize the bearing, keep myself in total check, and blocking my mind off from thinking. I did the writings, posted some of them to this page. Most of my write ups was posted in a certain website that stopped working years ago. Ended up deleting every post I had back then, but that’s okay now, it’s all in the past. Aside from posting them from  websites, I am also writing them up in a journal.

It feels good when you write them up. Looking from them years after, you will surely tell yourself, “How stupid I was back then!” and you will feel like it was the most embarrassing and funniest moment ever happen to your life.

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2. Go out and do some Aerobics!

The music was loud, my co-aerobics ladies was busy dancing, and I was like doing the moves but I had a teary eyes. I held back, controlled it, and do the moves. I did go through readings from websites, magazines and other reading materials just to get rid the thoughts of our relationship from my mind and one of their advice was do the moves. By doing an exercise that releases an endorphin (or the happy hormones)  from your body will increase and help you to get on the positive track. It is indeed effective.

My goal back then was not to get my body fats out from my system, but to get my mind off the track from thinking of him.

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3. Find a Trustworthy person who experience the same situation.

There were those moments when  writing isn’t enough. You want an advice from someone who can understand your distress, and know how to deal on some of your deep worries.  I am thankful to my friend, who was there when I needed an advice. Someone I can go to when everything seems so unclear. Thanks to her, I conquered that feeling.

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4. Look for something that will get yourself busy.

Working on something that will let your thoughts drift off from the burdened you carry within yourself is a must. You can gear yourself to do something that might interest you. Don’t let yourself do nothing, and think everything all over and over again in your home at your own emotional expense. Go out! You can do a cooking class, stitch a little bit, go for a seminar, training, or do anything that will make you happy. Taking one step at a time is worth a try than moping around.  Aerobics isn’t enough for me back then, I invest my earnings in learning new things. I enrolled in Education at St. Michael for 1 year class with 24 units subject at hand. I missed going to school. Doing this, really gave me plenty of things to worry that will keep my mind off of him. I got lot of home works, papers to be finished, reports to do and immersion to go to. It was then a busy year. I was working Weekdays, going to school during Weekends, a daily dose of 1 hour aerobics and doing all my papers during night time. Speaking of this, I kind of missed doing it.

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5. Don’t let yourself play slow songs or something romantic.

As much as I can, I don’t like listening to mellow music. I need something pop, rock or something that I can apply my aerobic thing. For listening mellow music will get me to square one, and it can took a little bit of time to pull myself again.  So don’t let yourself do this, unless you’ve moved on.

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6. Travel

After I gave my ultimate decision to my father about us, I decided to go somewhere to heal my undeniable broken heart. I went to the place where I really love, Japan. I did do a little bit of savings for almost a months. As far as my budget can stretch, I did try not to spend too much. Trying to stop myself from the whim of my own wants, and thankfully, it was a success. I got my dream. I went there and it was the most happiest thing ever that did happen to my existence here on earth. It means a lot to me.

Each and every one of us has different coping up mechanism. It so happen that, what is written here is something I did try to pull myself from this distress.  You can try anything that is appropriate to you, no one needs to control you for what you want.

For those viewers whose reading this and has a same situation, you know that you are not alone. If you want to cry, cry like a river, but don’t make it forever. The last thing that I did learn from all of this is that; No one can save you at the end of day, but you, yourself alone. Live fully, and live well.

Dreams brought by a Music Serenade

            I’m listening to mellow music right now, and if you were here with me? I’m sure you will find me weird enough listening to a music that is far beyond my understanding. Wanna guess this music? Hehe…It’s a Japanese song. It’s mellow, soft, very soothing and it can really synchronize my feeling right now, yet I don’t really know the title of this song. I just found in the website while surfing, so I’ve decided to download it and that’s why I’m listening to it right now. Even though it’s Japanese and I am a Filipino in nature, I still find it amusing. Sometimes, if I like the song I’m listening to, it is really easy for me to imagine things and write them off according to my mood.


Let me sight what world I am in right now. Of course, it’s not too far from reality. I am remembering dreams I had once when I am in high school. I dreamed of going outside the country, and see things that I couldn’t find it anywhere here in the Philippines. Since, I was young back then, and couldn’t do anything, even right now; all I do is imagine things and see myself having an adventure at those places I want to go. It was all in my thoughts, but it already gave me enough happiness, even though it isn’t real. I, once remember, one of my teachers had told us when I was in my first year college. She said

“Going outside your country and see the world in your eyes, is like going to another world”.

                 This phrase really pierces deep inside my thoughts. I really like that mentor of ours, and I find it very encouraging just by saying those words. For this reason, it made me stronger in believing something that has 0% of coming true, to become real in a 100%. Yet deep inside me, whether I could go there or not, I am just thinking that there might be reason, why God hasn’t given me that dream. But last year, the Almighty Allah has been really good to me. He did granted a piece of my dream, and that dream was setting off to the place they called the “Holy City”. I was in the middle of the world in just one month or more. In giving some thought, it already gave me a great happiness, and more grateful to the Lord of the World.

                  However, I am only human being. I also do have wishes, but let me first reiterate that whether this dream might become real or not, I am still grateful. Okay, after going to the first country I went to, I still wanna go there again for another round. Aside from this, I am wishing to the place where I dreamed to go to. Guess what is it again? Sirit? This is in relation with the music I’m listening to right now. This place is no other than the country they so called “the land of the rising sun”, Japan. I am really passionate about going there for years now; this is why sometimes I really envied those people who can go there.
There are so many things that I wanted to see. Let me sight them here with; firstly, I want go to Tokyo and experience what it feels to be in the most expensive City in the whole wide world.

                   Secondly, I want to see the mount that covered with white colour above it that seems to reach the sky with its beautiful view, the Mount Fuji.

                         Thirdly, I want to touch a tree of cherry blossom. I am always amazed and find it very interesting how can a tree produce such beautiful pink flower during the spring season in Japan and some other places in the world. If I will have a house that I’ll build with my own hands in the near future, and that cherry blossom could bloom here in the Philippines, I might as well plant a bunch of them around my back yard. That would be great.

                          Fourthly, I want to go to Akihabara and observe things out there, and see what the best in there.

                              Fifthly, I want to go to Hokkaido. They said this place is in the northernmost zone that has a temperate climate with long, cold winters and cool summers. I just want to feel the breeze of coldness in that place and see the field of flower I once saw in some pictures.

               Oh Gosh, I couldn’t exactly enumerate all of them here, but I really do want to have my adventure in there someday, and try the fastest train the world, the bullet train. Not only that, I would love to go to the other countries beside this. Maybe, deep inside me is an adventurous spirit that resides within my heart, but I’m like a bird trap in a cage of unbreakable chain.

               Please excuse me if I may seem to be ambitious in things I have stated here. But, I don’t really expect too much of having this trip in my entire life. So, don’t worry. Let me just dream off just once in a while, since I was being carried away by the music I was listening to. *wink ^_~