What is Depression? As stated from the meaning from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, this monstrous word means a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. I have read so many articles in relation to this sickness, and many of them says different kinds. I don’t know what is real or not, nevertheless I had seen and observed, it is in did an illness that causes havoc to one self. I did wrote this issue as I’ve seen Robin WILLIAM’S article about his death a few days ago. It is so sad to know such guy who boost with energy in giving hundreds of people from across the oceans a laugh that meant to forget their own problems, only to find out that he has been fighting his own selves for how many years. Another man, was that guy who was an actor from the GLEE Club series, who seems to kill his self. Together with this was also Whitney Houston, who caused her life due to drugs. It seems a lot of Americans where really into drugs and alcohol when they feel depressed. And 100% not only them, who suffer from this ill-mannered coping mechanism of depression, because there are many people around the globe who are involved in this kind of action.
Do I have the right to blame them or not? I guess, I don’t have the right to blame them in causing this menace in their own life since each and every one of us have different kinds of problems in life. Our generation in today’s age, we could manage to do whatever we wanted through technology, unlike the people of the past generation. Then along with this advancement, where the problem started, we became more dependent and many situations arises along with the mentality of each and every one. Many of us were gifted with a talent of coping up this improvement, but some humans don’t. It is a sad thing to say that many of the people who don’t know how to handle theirs selves ended up by bringing their own death. Unlike, harikiri in Japanese who kills their self because of disgrace, but this one wasn’t about honor. They’ve said that an act of suicide was a selfish act for the person who is committing this matter, but they didn’t know some of this people were fighting this as far as they did remembered in defeating their own problems. I could say it is hard when your enemy is your own self.
I could not tell if what I’ve felt before and maybe now is somewhat in this kind of form, but I did felt this. I tell you, it is something you’ll never wanted to wish for. Why? Because a total negativity causing yourself a pain like your into the depth of hell. One feeling of this was like a constant feeling of being worthless. You feel like you don’t wanted to wake up every morning and telling yourself “How I wish I never waked up”. Another feeling of this monster was, every hour of your life, you feel uneasy and your health were being eaten until your mind is giving you an order to kill yourself. The worst thing here was, when you are at that point where you wanted to escape something but then again there is no way out, this moment will drag your brain out from thinking, “death is the only way”. When you feel this moment, you will feel shaky and find a solution to escape from something you wanted to escape for. Feeling all this kind of emotions is a one way or another causing devastating event in one’s self. In the religious side of story, they were saying that if you have a weakness in thy heart, and weak in believing in the power of God, they’ve said you were being punished. In some point I question this one, I did one time asked, how come? Did I do something wrong to undergo in such thing? Upon feeling all the negativity in some point in my life, I’ve reflected with those stuff that I have done before. I found out so many weakness in myself upon searching for an answer why I started feeling this kind of emotion. As I searched for an answer, it feels like I’ve been scanning pages to pages and learning this and that. One thing I did learned was, there were those attitudes and some other things within thyself that you could not accept that it is within you. You don’t like to admit that limitations are embodied in you, and that everything is uncontrollable. I’ve cried for so many days, and some answers about my other side of problems were being revealed to me. I don’t regret from knowing, and I’ve come across knowing myself better. I could say my religion saved me in one way or another. In Islam, killing one self is a TABOO. IF you kill yourself, you will not be judged in the life after, but instead you will directly be sent to HELL with no further ado. In my religion, alcohol and drugs are prohibited to intake since it causes oneself a great deal of destroying oneself little by little. There was a saying as well that it is your responsibility to take care of your own body, and you will be asked in the next life how did you used your life, and from thinking this question I wouldn’t like to answer some negative things.
Those people who came across with the so called alcohol and drugs were by mean being harder to themselves. Yes, you will find yourself forgotten those wary feeling inside after taking them, nevertheless this emotion were just a temporary feeling that an expiration will be set in an hour. Due to its limitation, they intake and intake until they were addictive and cannot see the point of no return of going back. Maybe, indeed some survive from this addiction, but most of them cannot. Psychologists, therapist and another drugs can heal them in a minute, but then again it’s just temporary. The one who will decide is the victim itself on how he/she will instruct his/her own will. People can give them advice, but never can they make that victims let them do what they wanted. We are innate with the termed WILL. A decision that was being entrusted to us by the High Living with the power of knowledge and how we used them already depend upon us, as a human. I believe that everything have its own reason. Maybe, it is a sign to understand ourselves better with this problems, but over abusing and reacting in such a manner that will cost you more will just do no good.